


Meant To Be Yours

by BayleyWinchester



Category: Heathers (1988)
Genre: AU, Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Heathers, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Hallucinations, Haunting, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, JD is crazy, Murder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape/Non-con Elements, Suicide, Triggers, canon-typical abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2018-12-30 10:31:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 33,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12106797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BayleyWinchester/pseuds/BayleyWinchester
Summary: What would have happened if Veronica hadn't faked her own suicide?Follow JD and Veronica as they deal with the aftermath of the Westerberg High School Bombing, from more 'suicides' to being haunted by your best friends it's safe to say that they're lives are about to get a whole lot messier.~~{Edited July 2018}





	1. ~1~

Veronica slammed the door closed, letting her anger out. She couldn’t believe that JD had lied to her parents like that. Her chest heaved as she breathed deeply, trying to control her temper.

“Your thoughts of suicide.”

She hadn’t thought of her own suicide, too busy dealing with everyone else’s ‘suicides’. Veronica pushed herself of her door and walked to her bed before collapsing face first into her pillows, tears gathering in her eyes as she thought about her life. Her hands held ‘her’ copy of Moby Dick, depressing passages underlined and all. It wasn’t hers, it was Heather Duke’s who JD had been planning to ‘get rid of’. Tears started to fall faster and sobs racked her chest as she curled up into a small ball in the middle of her bed.

Veronica stayed in that small ball until she heard her window open, she spun around to sit up just as JD climbed over the window sill. “Greetings and salutations, darling. Sorry to come in through the window. Dreadful etiquette I know.”

“Get out of my house.”

“Oh don’t be like that, I’m just coming to see how my girls doing.”

“I am not your girl,” Veronica spat with faked confidence. Inside she was shaking but she knew she needed to pretend not to be scared.

JD tilted his head to the side. “And who’s fault is that?”

“Yours.”

“NO!” He yelled, banging his fist against the wall, Veronica flinched. “It’s theirs. They’re keeping you away from me, they messed up you up and made you blind. I need to set you free. I came up here with the idea of killing you, but I realized that I could never hurt you so I came with another solution.”

“What?”

“Sign this,” was all JD replied, shoving a wad of paper at her. “Then I’ll explain it all.”

“Is this the petition I was told about? Emily told me it was for a hot tub in the cafeteria and Duke told me it was for a croquet set up outside the school.”

JD didn’t answer her, instead staring at her. His trench coat surrounded him, Veronica briefly thought back to the first time she had seen him, the coat giving him a sense of rebellion and edginess. She had fallen in love with him over the time they had known each other. 

Veronica was a smart girl and knew that she shouldn’t love him, she knew that she should have stopped talking to him the moment they poisoned Heather and she definitely should have stopped talking after he killed Kurt and Ram, or when he threatened Heather Duke or when he told her off for helping Heather McNamara or tonight, when he told her that he was going to kill her. 

There were so many signs that he wasn’t good and yet she still looked into his eyes and felt the love she had felt for him since she first fell.

Finally, Veronica muttered. “I’m not signing it.”

“I thought you might say that,” JD sighed before reaching over to her desk and picking up a pen. He snatched the papers back and lent them on the wall before perfectly recreating Veronica’s handwriting and writing her name at the bottom of the last paper, directly under his own name. “Every student, bar you, has signed this paper. Thanks to Heather Duke of course. She told different people different things but she did what she was told and got me the signatures. No one knows what they really signed.”

“What did they sign?” Veronica asked. “JD. What did they sign?”

He smiled at Veronica before lifting the paper to read the front page.

Veronica held her hands to her mouth, fresh tears falling down her cheeks. Slowly she shook her head side to side, trying hard to believe that this was all a nightmare. “No.”

“Yes,” JD mocked. “I’m going to get rid of all the assholes that hurt you, hurt us. Obviously, we won’t be in the building when it goes BOOM!”

She jumped when JD shouted ‘boom’. JD moved to sit on the edge of her bed and rested his hand on her knee. He smiled softly at her, “all you have to do is come to school tomorrow, darling. Easy.”

“JD, I can’t,” She sobbed. “I’m turning you in if you try to do this.”

He scoffed. “Go for it, we can both go to prison. You were there, you wrote the notes and oh yeah, you killed Kurt.”

“I’d rather go to prison then let you do this.”

“Throw away your future for some assholes? Really Veronica? They are not good people.”

“They’re 17 years old! We don’t know how they’ll turn out,” she rebutted. “They are my friends.”

“They are not your friends. Come on Veronica, can you think about this for a moment? I’m willing to sacrifice a few for the many. We need to make a stand to make a change.”

She rolled her eyes and moved away from him. “You don’t care about that.”

He hesitated for a moment before responding. “You’re right. I don’t. This is, uh, I suppose you’d call it revenge. We’re going to get a Slurpee now. Come on.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you!” Veronica protested. JD simply gripped her wrists and pulled her to a standing position and started to pull her towards the door. “You can’t make me go anywhere. My parents won’t let me out anyway.”

“They’re … uh … preoccupied right now,” JD muttered as he yanked her out of her bedroom door.

“What did you do?” Veronica started to fight harder and pulled as hard as she could away from JD. “JASON! What did you DO!?”

“Nothing, calm down!” JD replied struggling with the girl, eventually, he was able to pull her into his chest and pin her arms down. “They’re fine,” he shouted at the subdued girl, “I slipped a few sleeping pills into their drinks when I was over. I needed them out.”

“Because you wanted to kill me?”

JD was silent as he looked into her eyes, after a minute he sighed and looked away before pulling Veronica down the hallway and into her car. He started driving before she had time to open her door. He speeds down the road, the route to the local 7/11 familiar to both of them. 

It was dark outside, the roads already empty. Veronica’s hands lay limp against her dark blue skirt, and both of her knee-high-socks had fallen down to her ankles. She looked in the side mirror and saw her hair, which was falling out of the ponytail it had been in. She looked like she had been in a fight.

The car was parked in the closest spot to the illuminated door, JD was the first to get out, he walked around to the passenger door, opened it and pulled Veronica out as softly as he could. 

They didn’t speak, both wrapped up in their own thoughts. JD working out the details of the next day, Veronica working out how she could save everyone.

Inside 7/11 was empty, only the pair and a half-asleep attendant. JD marched to the Slurpee machine, Veronica in tow. He poured Veronica’s first before his own and they walked over to the counter, quickly paying the cashier before walking back to the car. They sat down in their seats silently, drinking their Slurpees.

“I never wanted to kill you,” JD said suddenly. He was looking straight ahead out the window while Veronica looked at the side of his head. “Sure, I had the idea of killing you. It wasn’t that I wanted you dead, I just wanted you and I thought that I would have to kill you and then me in order to have you. I worship you Veronica, have since I laid eyes on you.”

“And you think this is the best option? Killing everyone?”

“Heather Chandler hurt your feelings, I killed her. Kurt and Ram hurt your feelings, I killed them. The school and all the students have pissed me off, I’m killing them.”

“That’s insane.”

“I’m insane.”

“That’s the only correct thing you’ve said tonight,” Veronica muttered.

“Not quite, I do worship you.”

Veronica didn't reply. JD started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. She didn't notice for a while but they were not going to her house. Sensing her confusion JD spoke, “you’re staying at mine tonight.”

“No, I’m not. Take me home.”

JD ignored her demand and turned onto his road.

“JD take me home.”

Again, he ignored her demand and pulled into his driveway. JD’s dad’s car wasn’t in the driveway like it normally was. “He’s not home tonight. I don’t know where he is,” JD said softly. “So, we’re home alone.”

“Great,” Veronica muttered to herself. JD pretended not to hear her and instead, he got out of the car and motioned for Veronica to follow him. 

She thought about getting out and running to a different house, banging on their door and getting away from JD. She looked down the street, a few houses had lights on but they were further down the street. She had seen JD run when he chased Ram and he was fast, faster than her. She’d need a big head start to get away, which she didn’t have. So, she opened her door and slowly walked to where JD was standing waiting.

Once inside, JD told Veronica to sit down on the sofa while he went to get the movies he had rented for them. The moment he had left the room Veronica sprinted to the landline with the intent to call the police and tell them about JD’s plan. The phone was where it always was, in the corner of the room on the small table, a notebook and pen beside it. Picking up the phone she was about to type in 9-1-1 when she noticed the cord on the back of the phone had been ripped out. She wanted to scream.

He had disconnected the phone line.

Veronica looked around the room desperately, trying to find a weapon or even a way out. Running up the street and pounding on a door seemed like a better and better idea as the seconds went by. They would have a phone she could use to call the police, but she would have to leave now, to get the head start she would need.

“Trying to call someone?” The voice from behind her made her jump and spin around. JD was standing by the living room door holding a bowl of popcorn and three tapes. He had a grin on his face as he looked at Veronica, his eyebrow raised. “I disconnected the phones. Sit down,” he pointed to the sofa. “Horror, comedy or action?”

“Fuck you.”

“Okay,” JD placed the horror tape in and went to sit beside Veronica. He placed the popcorn on her lap before pulling her closer to him and tucking her under his arm. She tried to pull away but he just held her tighter.

Veronica thought about staying awake until JD was asleep so that she could run, she figured it’d work. So that’s what she decided to do until JD put on the second movie, the action, and Veronica was asleep before the first explosion. She vaguely remembers JD carrying her up to his room and taking off her blazer and shoes. 

Then she was being woken up by JD who was already showered and dressed, a black bag resting over his shoulder. “Go have a shower and get dressed. Your clothes are in the bathroom.” He lent down to kiss her forehead which Veronica was too tired to move away from.

She did what he told her to do and within half an hour she had gotten dressed and had finished her makeup. JD was waiting downstairs for her, a plate with toast on it beside him. She sat down on the barstool beside him and let her mind flicker to a place where JD and her could live a normal life. No murder or bombings, just them being domestic. It was what she longed for, a life with JD, her first love. 

After she had finished her first piece of toast, he interrupted her daydreams. “It’s a normal school day until period 4. We have an assembly to remember Heather, Kurt, and Ram. You’re going to go to period 1 and 2 like normal, then we have History 3rd which we are going to leave early to set up.”

“And if I don’t go along with this?” Veronica challenged.

He shrugged. “You’ll shoot Betty.”

“No, I won’t!”

“I will drag you to whichever classroom Betty in and then I will force the gun into your hand and force you to shoot it. Don’t fuck with me,” JD threatened.

Veronica stayed silent.

“I’ll set up everything I need to do while you sit patiently,” JD gripped Veronica’s chin softly and turned her head to meet his eyes. “It’s going to be okay.”

Again, Veronica stayed silent.

Standing, JD picked up the black bag and said: “let’s go.” Veronica didn't move, she just sat there and looked at the boy in front of her. She loved him and that made her hate herself. “Come on Ronnie. Let’s go.” Her mind was blank, she could only think of the self-hatred that filled her because of her love for JD. It disgusted her. He killed her best friend and two other students, he lied to her and now he was planning to kill all of her friends and everyone she had ever gone to school with.

“Ronnie?” JD asked softly, “are you okay?”

“I - I love you.” Was all she could reply.

“Okay? And, I love you. Why is that a problem?”

“I hate myself for that. I hate myself because I love you.” She shouted, standing quickly, all of the anger she had exploded out of her, her hand slapping against his chest before it slipped down sadly to hang limply by her side. She was tired, tired of everything. JD didn’t say anything, he just pulled her into a hug, one which she didn’t fight. “Maybe,” she muttered against his chest, “you should just shoot me instead.”

JD pushed her away from his chest, holding her shoulders and looking directly into her eyes. “Don’t. Don’t say that. Veronica don’t ever say that.”

“Why?” She yelled at him. “Why? You’ve said it!”

“You can’t say that Veronica. You are perfect and it doesn’t matter who you love, it doesn’t make you a bad person, darling. Please don’t say that anymore.” JD pulled her back into his embrace where they stood for a few minutes while Veronica calmed down. When she had started breathing normal once again, they broke about and JD gripped the bag tightly in his hand. The couple walked out of the house silently, aside from a sob from Veronica when she saw a boy waving to his parents as he got in his car to drive to school.

Veronica had to leave both 1st and 2nd period to compose herself, she couldn’t stop thinking about what was about to happen. She had no idea what to do. Between 1st and 2nd period she had tried to leave the school to get a phone but JD was standing at her classroom door and walked her to her next period. It was 3rd period now and as always, JD and Veronica were sitting at the back table by themselves. JD’s assigned seat was actually at the front of the class but after weeks of trying to get him to sit where he was supposed to, she gave up and let him sit with Veronica. Throughout the period Veronica would flinch when someone laughed, thinking of what was going to happen in the next period. Around forty minutes into the period, JD lent over and whispered to Veronica, “pretend to have extreme stomach pains, darling. Ask the teacher if I can take you to the nurse.” Veronica was tempted to ignore him but her eyes trailed over to Betty sitting two rows ahead of her. JD also looked at Betty and then turned to Veronica, “don’t ignore me.”

“Mrs,” Veronica called, raising her hand.

“Yes, Miss. Sawyer?”

“My stomach really hurts. Can I go to the nurse?” Veronica said, her hands resting on her stomach. Her teacher nodded, reaching for her notebook and a pen. Veronica stood and pretended to fall backward, JD catching her just in time. The class were all staring at the two.  
“Maybe Mr. Dean can help you?” The teacher asked, adding a name to the hall pass. “Off you go.” JD pretended to help Veronica to the door and got the note from the teacher. They continued the act until the door had been closed.

JD nodded. “Good acting Ronnie. I’m proud.”

She didn't answer but just followed him as he turned and walked towards the cafeteria, where the assembly was being held. He had her sit on one on the tables while he attached bombs to different areas of the cafeteria. Table legs, and under seats. She watched in silence as he worked around the cafeteria. His watch beeped five minutes before the bell went, so he knew to get them to the boiler room. When the alarm went he reached into his bag and pulled out an exact copy of his trench coat and a blue blazer, one which Veronica thought he must have gotten from her room.

When he noticed her confused stare when he hid the items under a table he said: “so they think we were in the building.”

“So they think we’re dead?”

JD’s silence was enough of an answer for Veronica. He picked the bag off the ground and motioned for Veronica to follow him. He produced a ring of keys from his pocket and unlocked the door to the boiler room. Veronica followed him down a small flight of stairs and they stood there until the bell rang loudly throughout the school. Soon after they could hear the stamping of feet above them and the muted voices. JD stood still and silently while Veronica sat down on the bottom step, sobbing loudly. The students were laughing and talking with no idea of what her boyfriend was doing. After a while, the stomping got fainter and soon the principal was talking over the microphone.

JD turned and went further into the boiler room, Veronica following. It was a dark room that smelled like gas and grease. There were multi-colored buttons and gray leavers covering the walls. It got louder, the sound of machines working and air moving, as they moved further into the room, into the center of the cafeteria. JD crouched down in front of a wall and opened his bag once more, pulling out the bomb. It was too dark to see in the middle so JD brought out a touch and set it facing one of the walls where he started to set the bomb up. It was a small thing, with 3 red buttons on the front and 4 sticks of TNT wrapped in black tape. JD fiddled around with it before he stood and stuck the bomb to the wall. He stepped to the side which made it so that Veronica couldn’t see what he was doing. He stayed like that for a moment before stepping back, Veronica peered around him and saw the glowing red numbers.

5:00

“Is there anything I can say or do so that you rethink this?” Veronica asked softly.

JD looked over his shoulder at her before simply saying. “No.” He picked up his bag, zipping it closed, and reached to hold Veronica’s hand. She didn’t hold his hand but she didn't pull away either. JD looked at her before stating, “I’m going to press this button and then we are going to fucking haul ass out of here. Got it?” Veronica simply nodded. She looked away as he lent over and pressed the middle button and she couldn’t look when the countdown started. Quickly JD then brought them over to another staircase and they rushed up and out another door. It was the hallway on the first floor that leads to the entrance. They rushed out of the back way, dodging the teachers and security in the building.

4:00

They got out of the building and rushed to JD’s bike, which JD had parked away from cameras and teachers.

3:00

They simply sat on the bike for a moment before JD turned the bike on. He handed Veronica a helmet to wear and told her to hold on.

2:00

JD turned the bike and raced out of the back of the school, before circling the school and stopping at the front entrance.

0:30

The couple sat on the bike, looking at the school. Waiting morbidly for the explosion.

0:10

JD quickly turned to kiss Veronica on the cheek before he turned back to watch. The kiss didn't help settle her nerves.

0:05

“Holy Fuck,” Veronica whispered, leaning her head on JD’s shoulder. Watching and waiting.

0:00

The school erupted into a brilliant white light and a wave of heat hit them. After the light, there were flames, across the building flames started out small but grew steadily until the entire building was covered in the red hazy glow. The sound was the absolute worst for Veronica, screams of her classmates, people she had known for 12 years were burning alive in front of her. Some people ran out of the building moments before it collapsed. The people running out fell over and stopped moving. Suddenly, it was silent. Not even a bird sang in a tree. People came rushing out of the houses nearby because of the sound, pillars of smoke started to rise from the broken building.

JD jumped off the bike and quickly made his way over to a nearby tree that wasn’t affected by the blast. Reaching into his coat he pulled out the papers he had signed for him and Veronica, a nail and a hammer. He walked back to the motorbike and got on, revved the engine and took off Veronica clutching onto his torso. It was time to make their new life together, leaving the signed papers behind them.

We, the students of Westerburg high, will die. Our burned bodies may finally get through to you. Your society turns out slaves and blanks, no thanks. Signed the students of Westerburg High. Goodbye.


	2. ~2~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some instances of dubious consent in here. Read with caution.

They had driven back to Veronica’s house after the explosion, she was allowed to get a change of clothing and a few small trinkets. JD had told her not to get too much or anything her parents would notice missing, he needed them to think she was dead. He went up to her room with her, her parents weren't there, and made sure she didn't do any ‘funny business’ as he said. She chose three tops, two skirts, and a blazer, as well as some socks, bras and underwear and necessities like her hairbrush and some makeup. 

She had a lot of clothes, she doubted her parents would realize if she took six things. She also picked up a picture of her with the Heathers and one with her parents. JD had rolled his eyes when he saw the pictures. 

He had already picked up her diary, no one could read that, he knew that she wrote about Heather, Kurt, and Ram in there. He had also taken all the cash she had, she had shown it where she kept it. It wasn't much but was still good to have. JD had already taken all the cash he and his father had in the house. It would last them for a few weeks, JD would have to get a job somewhere.

“You ready?” JD asked once she had packed the few clothes in a small bag she had at the back of her cupboard.

Veronica clutched her bag tighter and looked down. As much as she wanted to scream and fight, she was scared. She didn't know what JD was capable of when it came to hurting her, she didn't want to anger him and end up hurt.

End up dead before she could tell the police what happened. 

“Only one more thing to do now,” JD continued.

“What?” Veronica looked up. He was standing at the foot of her bed motioning for them to leave the room.

“Swap cars,” they walked out. “I made a deal with a guy, we’re getting his car. He should be here any minute.”

“How long have you been planning this?” Veronica walked through the front door before JD, turning to have a final look at the house she grew up in. JD closed the door.

JD shrugged and they waited on the porch. “A few days,” a car pulled up. A man got out, he looked dirty and older than them. Veronica guessed that he was mid-twenties at least. JD pulled Veronica to go down to him, they swapped keys. The man got on JD’s motorbike, nodded and drove off.

“What?”

“He’s taking the bike to school so it looks like I was there,” he explained. “Your car is at my house, it looks like you got a lift with me.”

“Holy shit,” Veronica whispered to herself.

JD ignored her and opened the passenger door for her. “We have to go to mine quickly, then we’re fucking out of here.”

While they drove the short distance to JD’s house Veronica reflected on her situation. She sat on the passenger seat, staring out the front window with a blank stare, and thought about how she hadn't done enough, she hadn't even tried to do anything the entire time she was at school. 

She thought about how she could have told a teacher, gotten the school evacuated. Fought JD when he showed up. She could have done anything, she should have tried at least. 

Gotten JD locked up like Heather Chandler had said when he shot Kurt and Ram in the cafeteria. She should have gone to the police the moment JD didn't say anything when she poisoned Heather. She should have run to the police when he told her his plan, she should have fought him in the boiler room. She didn't know why she didn’t. 

_ Because, _ a voice in her head said  _ because you didn't want to be without him. You were selfish and now everyone is dead. _ The voice in her head was right. She was scared of losing him and hadn't fought for the lives of everyone else.  _ You must be crazy _ , the voice continued,  _ choosing JD over the lives of everyone you ever liked and whoever like you. Look at you, you’re hearing voices. _ Veronica tried to stop the voice from talking, she couldn't get it to shut up.  _ And you haven't tried anything. You could have hit him over the head and called the police when you were at your house. But you won’t, because you love him, that’s how fucked up you are. _

The voice started laughing, it suddenly sounded like hundreds of people laughing in a small hall, not just the one who talked to her. Veronica wanted to scream at them to shut up. 

_ Maybe _ , all of the voices taunted,  _ you can guess who we are _ . Veronica couldn't do it, she doubled over and threw her head into her hands. She could hear JD talking to her but it sounded like she was underwater. They started laughing again.  _ Come on Ronnie! _ They screamed suddenly.  _ Who are we? _ The original voice started again, the quiet voice compared to the laughing was a welcomed relief,  _ who are they, Veronica? Who am I? _

Veronica sat up straight in her chair. Heather, she recognized the voice, it was Heather Chandler. 

_ Oh look, _ Heather mocked,  _ she got it. Who are we? _ The laughing started again and Heather shouted over the top of it all.  _ Who are they? _ The laughing got quieter and quieter until it was a murmur in the back of her mind. The students, Veronica thought, the students of her school. The laughing stopped when Veronica realized who it was.  _ Have fun,  _ Heather whispered, it sounded like she was next to Veronica’s ear,  _ have fun living with us for the rest of your life _ . They started laughing again, louder and louder until Veronica could hear nothing but her classmates laughing and suddenly all she could see was black and it felt like she was falling. 

Then, nothing.

~~

When Veronica woke up she couldn't hear anyone in the back of her mind, Heather and her classmates were gone and Veronica welcomed the silence gratefully.

“Veronica?”

She looked up from her hands that were sat on her lap. JD was sitting beside her, driving down the road they were on. It was dark outside, the moon shone down on the car, and the road they were on was abandoned. She was completely alone with him.

“Veronica?” JD swerved quickly, jolting Veronica into the door. He pulled the car over, stopping it and turning to face Veronica. “You freaked me the fuck out.”

“I don’t remember,” She looked out of the front window, her throat was extremely dry and her face was sore.

“We pulled into my driveway and then suddenly you’re bent over and groaning in pain. You weren't answering me when I tried to speak to you and then you don’t move for a while, then you sat up. I went inside and got my bag and when I came back to the car you were staring at nothing and laughing while crying. We sat there for a while, I was waiting for you to snap out of it. You stopped laughing, said Heather, then passed out,” JD explained. “I decided there was no point waiting till you woke up, so I started driving.”

“What time is it?”

“Just gone midnight.”

“Where are we?”

“Uh-“ He thought for a moment. “We just drove out of Lancaster.”

Veronica nodded. “Okay. JD, can we please go home. We can just say we ditched school and we weren't there when it exploded.”

“Pennsylvania.” 

“What?” Veronica looked over at him.

“Not Lancaster, Ohio. Lancaster Pennsylvania,” JD explained. “We’re in Pennsylvanian. There’s a motel in a few miles. We’re going to stop there for the night.”

“Pennsylvania,” Veronica echoed. 

Heather started laughing at her _ , you’re a long way from home Dorothy _ . Veronica frowned.

“What’s wrong?” JD asked concerned.

Veronica whipped her head to glare at him. “Fuck you.”

“Okay, you’re angry. But it happened, Ronnie,” JD cupped Veronica’s face in his hands. “You can’t change what happened so relax and let it go.”

_ Let it go?  _ Heather scoffed.  _ Please, you’re not getting rid of any of us. We’re going to be with you for a long long time. _

“Let it go?” Veronica shrieked. “I can’t let it go! You killed my entire school.”

JD rolled his eyes and restarted the car. “Yeah, and watch the good that’s going to come out of this.”

“No good could come from this.”

“Call me an optimist.” 

He started driving again and before long they were pulling into a rundown motel off the highway. The car park was empty and the neon sign flashed VACANCY in yellow. JD pulled into the closest car park to the dimly lit reception, he and Veronica went into the small room. 

The desk in front of them held old looking brochures that looked like they hadn't been touched in years, the entire room looked like it hadn't been touched in years. Thick layers of dust covered most surfaces. One wall was filled with stuffed animal heads, Veronica felt like they were watching her. “Getting any Bates Motel vibes?” JD whispered to her after he had rung the bell.

An old lady wrapped in a worn robe staggered out of a door behind the desk. “Room for two?” She sounded angry like the two had done her a disservice, Veronica guessed she had been asleep.

“Yes please,” JD nodded.

“Two singles or a queen?”

JD didn't hesitate. “Queen.”

She wrote something down in a dirty book and reached behind her to get a key that was hanging on the wall. “Just for the night?”

JD nodded.

“$30. Check out is at midday tomorrow,” she held out her hand and waited. Both Veronica and JD were surprised at how rude the lady was. 

JD reached into his pocket and pulled out two $20 bills. The old lady muttered something they couldn't hear but sounded rude and returned $10 and the key to JD.  They didn't say anything else, just walked out of the reception and to the car.

Veronica looked at their new car for the first time since they got it, she didn't know a lot about cars, so she didn't actually know what she was looking at. It was black, which matched JD she thought and was bigger than hers. It was higher off the ground and there was more head space as well. Even though it was bigger it was plain and looked like it could easily blend into any area well, Veronica guessed that was why JD chose it.

JD went to the back seat and pulled out their two bags before they walked to their room, it was the furthermost from the reception but there were only five rooms in the old motel so they were still close. JD unlocked their door and both coughed as the stale air and dust flew out of the room. 

Inside was no better, it smelled old and like it hadn't been cleaned since the 50’s. The bed was in the middle of the room, a small kitchenette in one corner on the far side of the room beside a small table with three chairs, although one chair only had three legs. Beside the front door was another door which was already open, inside was a small bathroom which Veronica doubted even worked but she suddenly needed to use. He threw their bags onto one side of the bed and lay down on the other. Veronica walked into the bathroom, the door didn't lock.

After doing what she needed to she stood and stared at herself in the mirror, she looked like hell. Her hair was a mess, sticking up everywhere and filled with ash from the explosion, she was paler than normal with dark red circles surrounding her eyes. She looked tired even though she had slept for over ten hours. Her clothes were crumpled and looked strange on her as if they didn't belong. She hung her head, trying not to look at herself.

“Veronica!” JD called from the bedroom. “You coming to bed?”

_ Aw, _ Heather cooed.  _ Are you going to fuck him? Pretend nothing happened? Or maybe, you're going to fuck him because of what happened. Does it turn you on? Dating a murderer? _

Looking up and at the mirror, Veronica, for a split second, swore that she saw Heather Chandler standing to her left wearing her red silk robe and blue stained lips on her to pale face.

“Veronica?” He called again.

_ He wants to fuck you. _ Heather whispered.  _ Are you going to let him? _

_ Maybe. _ Veronica replied to the voice. _ It’ll make me forget, won’t it? _

Heather laughed softly and Veronica felt like her hair was being twirled.  _ Maybe _ , Heather whispered back.  _ Or maybe you’ll wake up even more disgusted with yourself than you are now. _

Veronica pulled off the top she was wearing, along with her shoes and skirt. It wasn't her that took the clothes off, it felt like someone was forcing her to like someone was using her hands to de cloth her. She stood in front of the door, in only her underwear. _ He wants to, doesn't he? _

_ Yeah, _ Heather whispered.  _ He does. I mean, he’s going to get what he wants so you may as well just go out there and take any control you still have. _

_ I don’t want to _ Veronica whispered back.

“Veronica? I’m coming in,” JD voice echoed around Veronica’s head, she couldn't understand the words. Nothing felt real suddenly like it was a dream. Heather laughed before her voice disappeared and Veronica felt normal again, just in time for JD to open the door. “Veronica? Why are you naked?”

“Fuck me,” Veronica looked into his eyes, which went wider. “Make me forget.” 

_ Why am I saying this? _ She screamed into her head, trying to get a response from someone.  _ I don’t want this! _

JD reached out and gently pulled her into the bedroom. “Do you want me to?”

“Yes.”  _ No! _

Veronica decided to just stop worrying when JD pushed her unto the bed and covered her mouth with his own. She returned the kiss with the same passion she had when he had come into her room and they had played strip croquet. She let her hands wander around his body and let her nails scratch down his back when he sped up. She let herself moan and whimper and JD’s mouth sucked and kissed down her body. She let herself forget that this man had just had killed all of her friends and kids she had known her entire life. She let herself forget that he kidnapped her from her family. She let herself forget that he was dangerous and could kill her. She let herself ignore Heather Chandler, who she was picturing in her mind, a sick blue grin gracing her face. Veronica let herself go.

_ Hello, slut.  _ Heather sang the next morning.  _ I see you took my advice last night. _

_ I didn't - _

_ Shut up, Veronica. I saw you, how you basically attacked JD. Look at his back if you don’t believe me. So, what’s the plan? Are we turning him in today? _

“Veronica? Why are you up so early?” JD muttered, he groaned and sat up. Veronica didn't know she had sat up she looked around confused. Heather’s voice had gone again. The clock on the wall opposite them ticked, to loudly for Veronica and it started to freak her out. JD pulled her into his side. “We have two hours, go have a shower and get ready to go.”

“Where?” Veronica asked.

“I was thinking New York,” he stood and stretched. “I think you’d like it there and it’s only a few hours away.”

Veronica didn't respond, she didn't want to. Instead, she went into the bathroom with her bag. It took her half an hour to brush and wash her mangled hair, another half to clean and shave her body and another half to get dry, dressed and presentable. Half an hour JD yelled in that he was going to go and get them breakfast. He got back long before she was finished. She was glad that Heather didn't make an appearance along with the chorus of students. She wore a gray skirt, a white top and her blue blazer along with her blue necklace. All of the Heathers had one in their color, it was a small and simple colored gem in the shape of a circle on a silver chain. She packed up and went into the bedroom.

JD sighed and got up from the bed. “Finally,” he pecked her cheek and pointed to the table where a white container sat. “Eat up. When I’m out we’ll go,” he walked into the bathroom and Veronica went to the table. 

Inside the container were two pieces of toast and eggs. They were cold when she ate them but she was too hungry to care, she hadn't eaten since the morning the day before. She finished only a few minutes before JD came out of the bathroom, she went back in and brushed her teeth.

JD and she walked to the reception where the old lady was sat on a stool reading a book. She only grunted and held out her hand for the key. The pair didn't engage with her either, they walked back to their car and started the three-hour journey to New York City.

_ I always wanted to go to New York _ . Heather said, it sounded like she was in the back of the car.  _ I never got to go because you know, you killed me. _

_ I never got to go either. _ Veronica jumped in her seat and turned around, she hadn't heard Heather’s voice but Ram’s. JD looked over at her with raised eyebrows.

_ I went when I was a kid, never got to go back _ . Kurt complained.

Veronica turned back around to face the front but asked;  _ what are you doing here? _

_ What? _ Kurt responded.  _ You killed us too. _

_ Yeah!  _ Ram agreed _. Why should Heather get all the fun? _

Suddenly every single student that had died was shouting at Veronica in her head, they all wanted one on one time with her. They were calling her names and demanding she listen to them and only them. Veronica couldn't make out any voices she knew. JD looked back in concern, she had started groaning and was holding her head, tears falling down her cheeks.

“Veronica!” He yelled. The voices stopped. All of them, including Heather, Kurt, and Ram, had gone. It felt like hundreds of pounds of weights had been lifted from her. “Are you okay?”

“Headache.”

“You can tell me if something is bothering you.”

“You killed all of my friends and kidnapped me from my family,” Veronica scoffed at him. “You’re bothering me.”

He shrugged. “Fair enough.”

“Don’t you feel any guilt? At all?” Veronica asked shocked. He was so casual about it all. “You killed hundreds of children.”

“I don’t,” he responded. “They weren't children either Veronica. Do you feel guilty?”

“Of course I do!” She shouted. “It’s all my fault.”

“It’s not. You shouldn't feel guilty, it was my choice and my plan. You had nothing to do with it,” JD replied. “No point feeling guilty anyway. They’re gone.”

No, they’re not. Veronica thought. “How can you be so casual about this?”

He shrugged again. “I didn't like any of them anyway. Besides, you liked, what? Five people in the school.”

“No,” she argued. “I like all of them.” The students started screaming at her again, yelling that she didn't like them if she did she wouldn’t have let them die.

“Don’t kid yourself, Veronica,” he lent over and turned the radio on.

“-tragic events yesterday at Westerburg High School in Sherwood, Ohio has made worldwide press after the entire school blew themselves up. There were no survivors after the powerful bomb was set off in the gym during the prep rally. The entire town is in grief and shock as they go through this horrific event. It makes you think, doesn't it? The note left behind really gets to you. Speaking of, the FBI had concluded that the note was written by student Veronica Sawyer. According to sources, she was popular at the school and was friends with the three students who committed suicide before the bomb. Veronica’s parents have not released a statement yet. Some people are blaming fellow student, Jason Dean, Veronica’s boyfriend. He arrived only two days before the first suicide and residents of the town had all witnessed the couples very close relationship. They have not identified their bodies however they found two articles of clothing that their parents have claimed as Jason’s jacket and Veronica’s blazer. We will continue to update you listeners on any further updates.”

Veronica leaned over and turned the radio off.

“We’re famous,” JD laughed cynically.

“I didn't write that,” Veronica frowned in confusion before realizing who had written it. “You did.”

“I did,” JD agreed. “In your handwriting.”

Veronica groaned and lent back in her seat. “Is that why you told my parents I wanted to kill myself?”

JD hummed. “When we get to New York we need to go shopping, you especially. I was able to bring about two weeks of clothing, we just need to find a Laundromat and I’m fine. You, however, have what? A few days worth?”

“How will we pay for all of it?” Veronica asked.

“I have cash, enough to last us a few weeks plus a shopping trip but after that, I’ll need to work,” he paused. “I’m not above robbing a bank.”

Veronica decided to ignore him. They sat in a comfortable silence until they reached the outskirts of Philadelphia. “Should we find a mall or something here?” JD asked. “There has to be somewhere in the city.”

“I don’t mind,” Veronica looked over at him and studied his face. 

She had found him attractive, very attractive, the moment she saw him in the cafeteria. He had smirked at her and then had looked almost disappointed when he saw who she was with like he already knew what the Heathers were. When she had first spoken to him, with the awful lunchtime poll, she had quickly developed a crush on him, which had turned into more when they meet at the Snappy Snack Shack. She thought back and decided that the moment she had gotten herself into deep shit was when he came into her room with that stupid greeting, ‘Dreadful etiquette, I apologize.’ She had fallen for him against her own wishes and couldn't do anything about.

_ He is literally a killer. A mass killer. _ Heather scoffed from behind Veronica. As much as it startled and scared Veronica that a dead girl was talking to her randomly, it was oddly comforting to her. Heather had been her friend and almost like a mentor, she had missed her and liked her being back.  _ Aww, _ Heather twirled Veronica’s hair, or at least that was what it felt like, _ you miss me. _

“Veronica, what are you thinking about?”

“Clothes,” Veronica lied. “Before all of this, whenever we went shopping Heather would choose all of our clothing. Make sure it was good enough. I needed it, god my style before them was awful.”

_ You’re not lying. _

_ Will you help me? This time? _

_ You sound like a child. _

_ I’m scared. _

_ Why? _

_ This is all so new and scary. I don’t know what JD is capable of- _

_ Murder. _

_ -and I have to think of everything I say before I say and every action before I move. I need to be told what to do for a moment. _

_ Why not just ask JD to completely dominate you? _ Kurt butted in.

_ Kurt _ , Heather said in a sickly sweet tone,  _ fuck off. Yeah, Veronica, I’ll help you. You need it anyway, you have a terrible sense of fashion. Let’s find a mall, shall we? _

_ Thank you. _

_ See you there. _ And with that, Heather was gone and Veronica was left alone in her thoughts.

“Let’s find a mall.”

JD nodded at her and drove closer to the city. It wasn't too hard to find a mall, and within ten minutes the car was parked and they were on their way in. The mall was busy, people pushing their way through the halls and in and out of the brightly decorated stores. The mall smelt like cheap cleaning products and perfume, an odd but calming scent for both Veronica and JD. A child ran past them, screaming about candy and a mother on his heels. A group of five girls walked past them, looking exactly like the Heathers and Veronica when they went to the mall. A baby started crying in a stroller beside them. 

For a moment it seemed normal for Veronica, it was just another day in the mall with the Heathers until JD slipped his hand into Veronica’s and asked where she wanted to go first. She had no idea, usually, she would just follow a Heather. 

_ Your such a pillowcase.  _ Heather insulted _. We’re here to buy clothes and save money, the store in front of you, CandyLand, it’s got a sale on. _

Veronica pulled JD along with her for two hours, going from store to store buying several new outfits she could mix and match as well as accessories. They went to the chemist as well, so Veronica could get new makeup and hair products. She wasn't used to budgeting, neither was Heather who told her what to get at every store, but it wasn't as hard as she expected and at four that evening they checked into a hotel outside of Philadelphia for the night. In the morning, JD had explained, they would head for New York and find a short-term apartment, if Veronica liked it then JD would look for a job and longer-term accommodation.

Veronica fell asleep early, after takeaway pizza for dinner, her head resting on JD’s shoulder. Heather, Ram, and Kurt watched them all night, watched as both were plagued with nightmares, watched as they both woke up during the night and watched, in silence, in the morning as JD convinced Veronica to make out with him, even though she had been pushing him off when started kissing her. They watched as Veronica stood in the bathroom, tears in her eyes as she washed her face and they, along with all the students, watched as she thought about running the bath and drowning herself.

Then they all watched as she walked out of the bathroom and into the car with their killer.


	3. ~3~

“Do you think-” Veronica asked as they walked into their new apartment. “Will we ever go back home?”

“Why would we?”

Veronica shot him a look. “I don’t know about you but I actually miss my parents.”

JD didn't answer her, he simply walked further into their new apartment. It had taken them two weeks to find a place that was affordable and in good condition. It wasn't central New York but it was close enough for them, it was a simple one-room apartment. Their bedroom was behind the small sofa and beside the outdated kitchen, there was a single door which led to the tiny bathroom that only had a shower, sink and a toilet. The walls were a dirty beige colour and the roof had unknown stains. “Home sweet home,” JD laughed and threw their bags onto the bed.

_ How quaint _ . Heather mocked.

“Fuck off.”

“What?” JD asked, looking over at her with his eyebrows raised.

_ Oh no. She’s doing it again _ . Kurt laughed, mocking her.  _ Talking to the voices. _

_ It’s getting more and more common. JD’s gonna realize how fucked up you really are soon.  _ Ram agreed. They, of course, were right. Veronica had been responding to them out loud more and more over the two weeks since the bomb. JD didn't say anything but Veronica could see that it was worrying him.

“Veronica?”

Kurt laughed.  _ He’s going to know your insane. _

_ Maybe he’ll send you to a mental hospital. _

_ Aw, piss of boys. Can’t you see that you’re upsetting Veronica?  _ Heather butted in sarcastically.

_ You know what upset me, Ram? _

_ What upset you, Kurt? _

_ When our precious little Veronica shot me. _

_ At least she didn't poison you in your own house. _

_ She made it look like Ram and I were fucking. _

_ Yeah, that sucked! _

“I didn't mean to!” Veronica screamed suddenly. “I didn't know!”

“Veronica? What’s wrong?” JD came over to concerned, he cupped her face in his hands and stared into her eyes. “What didn't you mean to do?”

_ Oh, you’re in for it now. _ Kurt muttered before all the students started laughing loudly, the noise echoed around Veronica’s head. She bent over, sobbing at the pressure.

“Veronica!” JD shouted, trying to pull her up. He sounded so far away to Veronica, she couldn't make out what he was saying

“I’m sorry!” She shouted at the students. “I’m so sorry!”

The laughing got louder and louder until Veronica couldn't hear anything besides it.  _ We don’t want sorry Veronica! _ Heather shouted above the noise.  _ We want vengeance! You killed us all. _ The laughing stopped, Veronica sighed in relief, then every student started shouting their name over each other. Veronica screamed as she listened to the names of the students she had known.

_ Sean, Amy, Michael, Angela, Robert, David, Jennifer, Evan, Kelly, James, Julia, Scott, Melissa, Jessica, Peter, Mary, Andrew, Nicole, Dennis, Rebecca, Stephanie, William, Katie, Courtney, Keith, Martha. _

_ Heather, Heather, Heather, Kurt, Ram, Betty. _

“I’m sorry!” She shouted again. “What do you want me to do?”

“Veronica! Calm down,” JD screamed, pinning her arms to her side, trying to make sure she didn't hurt herself. She was throwing her arms around and kicking wildly. It looked like she was having a seizure and JD had no idea what to do with her.

_ Kill yourself. _ Heather whispered into her ear. She stilled completely, scaring JD who had to hold her so she didn't fall.  _ There’s a gun in JD’s bag. Go and get it, shoot yourself like you shot Kurt. Come and join us. _

Veronica stood straight, having regained control of her own body. JD took a step back but kept his arms out, afraid she might fall. She wiped her face, which was wet and sticky from the tears she didn't know she had been crying. She felt drained like she could sleep forever which is how she felt whenever they talked to her. She took a step to the side and walked past JD to the bed, he followed close to her. His bag was the closest to her, she reached into the side pocket where she knew the gun was and pulled it out. The cold metal felt good against her hot temple, she flicked the safety off.

JD jumped into action and ripped the gun out of her hand, taking the bullets out and flicking the safety off in one swift movement. “Veronica, what are you doing?”

“They told me to,” she whispered, she fell backward so she was sitting on the edge of the bed.

JD knelt in front of her. She looked so broken, he didn't know what to do. “Who told you to?” He reached out and rubbed her shoulders, trying to calm her down. She started sobbing softly again.

“Heather.”

“Do you talk to Heather?” He asked her slowly.

“All of them.”

“Who’s all of them?”

“Heather, Kurt, and Ram mostly, we have conversations. All the students come sometimes, they laugh at me,” Veronica explained softly. “Heather told me that I have to kill myself.”

JD moved to sit next to her. “Don’t listen to Heather. She’s a bitch.”

Heather scoffed.

“Do you see them?”

“Sometimes, for a moment. Usually, it’s just their voices. I can deal with it when it’s just Heather, Ram, and Kurt. When everyone is there is when I freak out.”

“What do they talk about?”

“All sorts. When it’s just Heather it’s like it was before. Kurt and Ram are annoying like normal as well,” she lent her head on his shoulder, tired. “Heather likes to convince me to have sex with you, even when I don’t want to. I don’t know why.”

_ You always feel disgusted with yourself, it’s what you should feel. _ Heather answered. Veronica ignored her.

“How often has that happened?” JD felt disgusted with himself, he had no idea.

Veronica shrugged, “every time.”

“Veronica,” he angled his body so he could see her. “I don’t - I had no idea you didn't want to.”

She shrugged again.

“This isn't a problem you can shrug at Veronica!” He stood up and paced. “I messed up. I-”

“Do you think I’m crazy?” She interrupted.

_ Yes _ . Heather, Kurt, and Ram all answered.

“No, of course not,” JD walked back over to her. “Why would I?”

“I’m hearing voices of the people we killed,” Veronica deadpanned.

“It’s late,” JD opened the bags and pulled out their sleepwear, he handed Veronica her dress. “Let’s go to bed.”

Veronica nodded and went into the bathroom to change. JD went in after her while she got into bed, she had fallen asleep before JD had even left the bathroom. He smiled when he saw her curled up form sleeping on top of the duvet.

He had felt physically sick when Veronica had told him what he had done to her, he had raped her. The girl he loved with all his heart and he had hurt her more than he ever thought he could. He had never wanted to hurt her, physically or emotionally. Sure, he knew that bombing the students and ripping her away from her family would hurt her but he knew it was for the best. 

It would all work out in the end and he would give her the life she deserved. 

She wouldn't be going to college, he knew that would upset her but at the same time, he knew that she had never liked the pressure placed on her from such a young age. He had gotten rid of that for her. JD sighed, walking to the bed and climbing on beside Veronica. It had been a surprise to hear that Veronica was haunted by the ghosts of Heather, Ram, and Kurt. Although he should have seen it sooner, it wasn't the first time he had caught her talking to herself. He had written it off as the stress after the event if he had paid more attention to what she was saying he would have realized that something wasn't right. 

She talked in her sleep some nights as well, muttering to Heather, he had simply thought it was a dream. He’d have to go and do some research and find out ways to help her. He was surprised to see how guilty Veronica was, he hadn't expected it. He thought she’d feel bad but get over it quickly, he had already moved on and couldn't care less. 

He had done what he needed to do, the deaths were just a part of that. 

Veronica didn't see it that way, JD realised, she saw the deaths of individuals as the outcome of the situation, she couldn't see the good that would come from all this, he just needed to show her that what they did was a good thing, for them and other teens across the country.

He pulled her into his embrace and smiled again when she curled closer to him. His thoughts were racing, wondering about their future together. Would she want to stay in the New York for a while, maybe get JD a job before moving on or would she want to leave sooner? 

JD wanted to be with Veronica forever, till death do them part. 

He wanted them to have a family, little Veronica’s running around their house. Would Veronica want to live in the city? He thought. Or maybe the country? JD stayed awake until early morning thinking about their lives that they could build with each other now that the problems were gone. 

The sun was rising when he finally fell asleep, the rays shining softly through the thin curtains and casting the room into a hazy pink colour that JD thought looked very good. He knew Veronica wouldn't be up until mid-morning whenever she had a -what he thought was a panic attack- session she would sleep deeply for hours, not moving or speaking.

JD was right, Veronica didn't wake up until eleven that morning. She shook JD awake as well and went to the kitchen. “We don’t have any food,” she called over her shoulder. “Like, we have nothing.”

“Veronica, we have to talk about last night,” JD said before groaning and climbing out of the bed and walking to wrap his arms around her waist.

“Really, we don’t,” Veronica muttered pulling out of his grip. “We have to go and buy food.”

“You can’t ignore this,” he rubbed her arms. “It’s serious.”

“You blew up a school,” she rolled her eyes, “that’s serious. Me being haunted by their ghosts in normal.”

JD sighed but let it drop. “Go and get ready, we’ll go and do a shop.”

Veronica went into the bathroom with her bag, half an hour later she stepped out, showered and fully dressed. Even though the Heathers were dead Veronica still wore some blue in all of her outfits. JD couldn't figure out why she would be she insisted. Her outfit was a grey long-sleeved top, a black skirt, and a dark blue cardigan. JD rolled his eyes when he saw her bracelets, she had gotten them at a chemist along a highway on the way to New York. 

They were simple silver bands, each with a gemstone attached. Veronica had gotten blue, red, yellow, green, purple and white. She had explained to JD that the purple one was for Betty Finn and the white for all the other students. He had scoffed but bought them anyway.

“If you like the city we can stay longer, I can start looking for a job,” JD said as they walked down the stairs to the carpark.

“Am I going to get a job?” She asked.

JD shook his head. “You’re stressed enough as it is, we don’t need to add a job to the mix. Maybe later,” he didn't tell her that he didn't want her working so that he could keep an eye on her. It didn't want her slipping up and telling someone by accident what he had done, he couldn't risk losing her. 

“I like New York so far,” Veronica replied. They had been staying at a small hotel near the center of the city for the past two weeks, doing the typical tourist attractions. JD had lived there before he moved to Ohio so he was able to show Veronica around with some confidence. 

While in the hotel they had looked for long-term accommodation, which led them to their new apartment. Veronica had been liking New York, it was a total change for the sleepy town of Sherwood. She laughed at herself, it wasn't so sleepy anymore. 

New York had been a welcomed distraction from what happened, it kept her mind busy.

Plus Heather really enjoyed seeing the sights as well which kept her quiet, and as much as she didn't like that she was being haunted by Heather, she missed her friend and didn't mind her coming with them, Heather had always wanted to go to New York and Veronica really didn't care that she was the conduit.

“I like it here too,” JD agreed as they got to the car. “I’ll start looking for a job.”

“Will you have to use a fake name?” Veronica asked.

“Why would I have to use a fake name, Darling?”

Veronica rolled her eyes and turned on the radio, flicking through the stations until she found the news. “-high. Two weeks ago the nation was shocked when the entire school blew themselves up. An interesting new update is that the bodies of many students still have not been recovered, these include Veronica Sawyer who wrote the note and her boyfriend Jason Dean. Parents are still shaken as they had no idea that their child felt like blowing themselves up. This is leading people to say it was less of a voluntary suicide and more of a forced suicide. A student that was home sick on the day said that she was never asked to sign the note. Some are saying that students would have to sign the note on the day, which means it was all pre-planned without the majority of the students’ consent. The FBI are investigating Veronica Sawyer as she wrote the note, meaning she must have known previously,” Veronica turned the radio off.

“I may have to use a fake name,” JD laughed.

“It’s not a laughing matter JD!” Veronica scolded.

“Turn it back on.”

Veronica sighed and muttered under her breath but turned the radio back on so the could listen. “Veronica Sawyer’s parents are scheduled to release a statement at four o'clock today, stay tuned in to hear that.”

“Holy shit,” Veronica muttered

The radio voice continued. “Some bodies have been returned to families, however, the majority that have been found are still with the FBI. The community is desperate for the bodies back and have started work on a new graveyard and memorial in the place of the school. Psychologists -“

“That’s fucking morbid,” JD interrupted. “Burying them where they died.”

“-that we should be looking at the bullying problems that run through the schools across the nation. Westerburg was known for being a school with a large bullying problem. All the students who are still alive state Heather Chandler, Heather Duke, Heather McNamara, Veronica Sawyer, Kurt Kelly and Ram Sweeney as the major bullies of the school. When asked if there was bullying problem at their school, all students said that there was. They also that it was very common for the three Heathers and Veronica to choose one person or a group of people to pick on for the day while Kurt and Ram chose others.”

“I don’t think you ever bullied anyone,” JD interrupted again.

Veronica shook her head. “You didn't see me before you came. I was as bad as the Heathers.”

“Joining us in the studio is child psychologist Dr. William Greg. Please, tell us your take on this tragic incident.”

Veronica and JD listened to what he had to say, to see if he was right. “Well, I see this as a tragic case of students not knowing where to go or who to go to for help. If these students had gotten the help they needed then this may not have happened. This also seems to be an attack on society, almost as if the students are taking a stand and saying enough is enough. They wanted to show the world that none of them could live here anymore.”

“No,” Veronica scoffed as she turned the radio off. “I just have a fucking crazy boyfriend.”

_ You can say that again _ , Heather agreed.

JD rolled his eyes as he pulled into the small food marts car park. They both got out of the car and walked into the mart, for the first time in a long time, Veronica gripped onto JD’s hand tightly as they walked around the store. The managed to get a fair amount of groceries for not too much, Veronica was getting better at looking for sales and comparing different brands to get the best deal.

They decided to go and get breakfast, lunch actually, out and see if they could find anywhere to find a job. A small cafe was just down the road so they went to that, Annie’s Attic, it was very small but very busy. Filled with mums and kids, which made sense, it was a Wednesday during school hours. Each ordered their lunch before they sat down at a small table in the corner. A young girl, around twenty they guessed, came over with their food around ten minutes later. She was very pretty, tall and skinny with long blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She liked the way JD looked as she kept staring at him, he didn't seem to notice. He only responded with one-word answers when the girl asked him a question and kept staring at Veronica, which for some reason made Veronica feel proud. He was hers.

As soon as she thought that she felt disgusted. She hated those moments of happiness, the moments of liking JD. Loving him. As if he didn’t murder all those kids.

After they finished their food they were walking out when Veronica stopped and pointed to a sign on the counter that they hadn't seen previously. ‘HELP WANTED - 2 pm to 7 pm Tuesday to Friday - 2 Positions Available.”

JD thought it over quickly, it would be beneficial for Veronica to work as well, double the money, and if they worked together he could still watch her and make sure she didn't slip up. “Shall we inquire?”

Hand in hand they walked over the counter where a different waitress stood, she was probably late 30’s and wore a black apron like all the others. “Excuse me,” JD smiled at her, laying on the charm, “we just saw that help wanted sign and was wondering if there are still positions.”

She smiled in relief. “Yeah, there available. We’ve been needing someone quick, our waitresses are leaving at the end of the week. Both of you?”

“That’d be great.”

“Can I get your names?”

Shit, JD thought, names. He didn't have to worry for long because Veronica answered for him. “Heather and James Dean.”

“Are you two married?” She asked. They nodded. “How sweet, have you had any experience in a cafe?”

“I worked at a cafe when I was fifteen,” Veronica nodded. “For eight months.”

“I’ve worked in two different restaurants. I was fifteen and sixteen, for about two months each. Summer jobs,” JD replied.

She smiled, “that sounds great, can you start immediately?”

“Yeah, we can,” JD answered.

“Come in tomorrow at midday for some training. You start on Monday, I’ll get your name tags ready,” she wrote something down on a pad. “Oh, I’m Annie by the way, I own the place.”

“I guess we’re staying in New York,” JD said as they drove back to the apartment. “James and Heather Dean?”

Veronica hesitated, “Heather for reasons. Dean because if we were married that’d be our last name and James so that I can still call you JD without it looking weird.”

“Isn’t James Dean a famous bad boy?”

Scoffing, she shook her head, “you’re not a bad boy. You’re just an asshole.”

“Veronica Dean,” he replied ignoring her comment. “You like it?”

“It’s Heather Dean actually.”

“That means I married a Heather.”

_ Ew,  _ Heather Chandler scoffed, _ we don’t want him. _

“Heather said she doesn't want to marry you,” Veronica decided to tell him, maybe it’d be good for her to tell him when they spoke. “None of them do.”

“She said that?” He asked, his tone suddenly hard. “Right now?”

“Yeah,” Veronica nodded. “Do you mind if I tell you when they talk to me?”

He shook his head, “of course not.” He hoped it seemed genuine enough. He did want to know what she was thinking, that was true, but it was more so that he could keep tabs on her. That’s why he wanted her to tell him.

“Great. How long will we stay in New York for then?”

“A few months at least. Did you actually work in a cafe?”

She nodded again, “until Heather made me quit. She didn't want any of us working.”

“Why?” JD laughed.

_ It didn't look good for the image. I needed us to be above everyone else, couldn't do that if you're serving them their fucking dinner. _

“She said it didn’t suit the look,” Veronica explained. “Just then.”

“She’s talking to you right now?”

_ Damn, right I am. _

“Yeah, she’s being kind of annoying as well.”

_ Am not! _

“What’s she doing?”

_ Can Ram and I piss Veronica off as well? _

“Now Kurt and Ram are here,” Veronica updated.

_ Does he think your crazy?  _ Ram asked.

“Ram wants to know if you think I’m crazy.”

JD shook his head. “I don’t. Do the other Heathers or Betty come?”

_ We can make them. _ Heather threatened.  _ If you’d like. _

“Heather said she can make them come, which I don’t want,” Veronica explained, “but no, they haven’t come alone yet.”

“Why?”

“You’d have to ask Heather C that. I don’t know,” Veronica answered shrugging her shoulders.

_ God Veronica, we are literally in your head and you don’t know. _ Heather sighed.  _ You can be so stupid sometimes. _

“Well, I don’t want you here. You obviously have a mind of your own,” Veronica spoke out loud causing JD to look at her in alarm, she didn't acknowledge him.

_ No, we don’t. We aren't real Veronica. Everything’s up to you.  _ Heather replied.

“She said they’re not real,” Veronica whispered. “That they’re in my head and I control it all. If I control it, then why won’t they leave? They can’t be in my head.”

_ Maybe you don’t want us to. _ Kurt replied,  _ maybe you miss us. _

_ Or _ , Ram continued,  _ you feel so guilty you need to let it out somehow. _

_ You subconscious perhaps _ . Heather agreed. _ Hey Kurt, do you think Veronica should feel guilty. _

_ I do. _

_ And Ram, do you think Veronica should feel guilty? _

_ She should. _

“Veronica?” JD interrupted. “You spaced out for a while there.”

“Really?” It hadn't felt like long for Veronica, only a few seconds perhaps but when she looked up they had already completed the five-minute drive to the apartment. “Oh.”

“Let’s bring the groceries upstairs,” JD said and got out, Veronica followed. “When they’re all away we need to talk.”

Veronica groaned. “I don’t want to.”

“I know.”

Heather laughed. _ Is he going to break up with you? _

_ I feel like breakups with JD would end in a lot of hurts. Like, he’d shot you or something. _ Kurt replied.

“Veronica,” JD called from the stairs. He already had all of the bags and the car was closed and locked. “Come on.”

“Sorry,” She muttered and followed him up the plain grey stairs and to their second-floor apartment. He placed all of the bags on the table and Veronica got to work placing the food in the small, and slightly dirty, cupboards. She took her time, deciding where to put items individually. JD sat on the sofa, the TV turned off. He had a book out on his lap, one of the ones he had taken from home. “JD,” Veronica called as she finished the second bag of many, “read to me.”

“Alas, poor Muse, what ails you so today?” JD started.

“Baudelaire again?” Veronica interrupted. “Haven’t you read that cover to cover?”

“I have, now hush,” He replied and began reading again. His voice calmed Veronica as she put away the food. “Your hollow eyes with midnight visions burn, and turn about, in your complexion play madness and horror, cold and taciturn.”

“The sick muse,” Veronica muttered as she went and sat beside him. “One of your favorites.”

“It is,” He agreed closing the book and placing it to the side.

“Look, I know that you’re worried about me and all but I really don’t want to talk about any of this,” Veronica interrupted what he was about to say. “I just want to curl up in your lap, forget that you killed hundreds of people and let you read to me.”

_ Really, Veronica? He’s insane but you want to curl up on his lap and forget?  _ Heather mocked.

“Please."

JD sighed but moved an arm so Veronica could move closer to him and picked up his book again. “The Venal Muse. Muse of my heart, of palaces the lover, where will you, when the blast of winter blows, in the black boredom of snowed lights, discover a glowing brand to warm your violet toes?”


	4. ~4~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Suicide mentions/Families talking about suicide. Read with caution.

At three fifty-seven that night Veronica turned on the TV, finding a news station was easy and they sat on the sofa waiting, with the entire nation, for her parents to come out and give a statement. The scene flicked over so they were filming Veronica’s house, the reporter was talking but Veronica couldn't listen. She was staring intently at the house, she could see movement coming from the front room window and the light in her room was on.

JD and her sat silently for the three minutes until her parents stepped out of the house, both dressed in black outfits. They looked terrible and Veronica couldn't help but sob, it looked like they hadn't slept or showers in the two weeks since the bomb. Her mother’s normal well-done hair was in a bun on top of her head, like she hadn't even thought about it. Her makeup was minimal and Veronica could see the red rings around both sets of eyes. She let out another sob, JD went to pull her closer to him but she pulled away and moved to the other side of the sofa.

Her father cleared his throat as he and her mother got to the podium set outside the front door, the sound magnified through the half a dozen microphones that sat in front of them. “For the teens of Westerburg suicide seemed like the only answer,” her father started, reading from a piece of paper, “they didn't believe they had any other option. I’d like to address all of the teenagers of America when I say this, suicide is not painless. It left behind a family wondering what went wrong and how they failed. It does not make the world a better place and it never will. Our entire town is in a great grief after this mass suicide. No parent in this town goes to sleep with dry eyes -“

JD scoffed.

“-No parent hasn't wept for their child they will never get back. Many of us haven’t even gotten a body back, we haven’t been able to bury our precious Veronica. Our Veronica knew about this, she was the one who wrote the note condemning the students,” he continued. Her mother sobbed as he talked. “We just want to let the teenagers of this country what this suicide has done to all of the families in the town. Not one person in this town is not mourning. So please, I beg you, if you are thinking of suicide get help.”

Veronica’s mother stepped forward. “As a mother, I can not help but ask myself ‘what did I do wrong?’” Veronica sobbed once again. “I lie awake in bed and think of ways I could have helped my daughter through this, all the mothers of the town lie like this now. I was told by Veronica’s boyfriend that he was worried about her, he thought she would kill herself, I was concerned and worried but I let Veronica go to her room that night. When I woke up in the morning, there was a note from her saying she had gone to Jason’s house. This was common on a school morning but I did not see her again, we got a call from a close friend who explained all of this. I broke down in the middle of my office, knowing that I’d never see my daughter again. Please, to all the parents out there, listen to your children and listen to their friends. I could save their lives.”

Her parents both wiped their eyes before her mother continued. “I just pray that my daughter and all of the students are in heaven now.”

_ We’re not _ . Heather responded.

“I pray they are at peace.”

_ We’re not. _ Kurt repeated.

“I pray they’re happy.”

_ Nope, we’re not,  _ Ram replied.

“I pray they are at peace.”

_ NO! We’re not.  _ All the students shouted at once, causing Veronica to hold her head and groan. JD looked over in worry but didn't say anything.

“Thank you for listening to me,” she wiped her eyes again. “Please, listen to your children.”

Veronica sat in shock as she watched her parents turn around and walk into her house, the house that she had grown up in, for what could be the last time. When she realized that this could be the last time she saw her house and her parents she broke down into sobs. Kurt and Ram along with the other students left, she didn't know how she knew that they weren't there, she just did. Heather stayed and took pity on the girl.

_ Look, it gets easier. When I realized I’d never see my parents again I freaked out. After a while you accept it. Just remember the good times. _

“Veronica?” JD called gently, bringing her closer to his side and wrapping his arm around her shoulders. She rested her head on his shoulder and let the tears fall.

 _What’s your favourite memory of them?_  

“One time, when I was little we went to my grandparent’s house for Christmas. Everyone was going for a big family reunion. We had to stay there for three nights,” Veronica told the story to both JD and Heather. “But on the way, our car broke down and it was snowing. We had to walk for like half an hour to a motel we had seen beforehand. It was freezing cold and I didn't want to walk through the snow so my dad put me on his shoulders. We had to stay in the motel for the night and then my uncle came to pick us up the next morning. It was the weirdest Christmas. Everything went wrong, like the turkey exploded in the over and the tree fell over and nearly landed on my cousin. It was like a movie or something.”

_That’s good. Now when you miss them, just remember different times with them. It’s what I do._  

“Why’d you tell me that story?”

“Heather suggested I remember the good times with my parents instead of being sad.”

_ You’re welcome. _

JD pulled her closer and sighed. “You okay?” 

“I don’t think I’ll ever be okay.”


	5. ~5~

“I never thought my life could be so domestic,” JD commented as Veronica set their dinner on the table. They had been living in their apartment for nearly two months, and JD was right, it was very domestic. JD had managed to get another job at a different cafe a month into their stay in the mornings, he’d go there before going home and then they would go to work at Annie’s together Tuesday to Friday and come home to watch the TV and Veronica would cook them dinner.

Veronica couldn't help but feel uneasy at how well everything was working out. It didn't feel right that they got to live such perfect lives while everyone she had ever known was either dead or grieving. Veronica scoffed at herself, their lives weren't perfect, well JD seemed pretty happy with his but Veronica hated hers. JD had all but banned her from leaving the house, he’d know if she did in the morning and yell at her the entire way to Annie’s and home. She wasn't allowed to talk to anyone outside of Annie’s apart from JD. She hated how controlling he was to her but in a way felt like she deserved it so she didn't fight it. After two weeks she simply stopped trying and would stay in the house in the mornings and not talk to any of her co-workers aside from required small talk, even then it was mostly JD who did the talking for both of them. The only person she could actually talk to was Heather.

“Sophie tried to get my number again,” JD continued. Sophie was the waitress who had served them the first day, she had instantly liked JD and now spent all day, every day, trying to get his number, ignoring Veronica who was, to Sophie’s knowledge, his wife. “When you went out back.”

“She’s crazy,” Veronica rolled her eyes sitting down opposite JD. “But, so are you so maybe you’d be good together?” They started eating the nachos Veronica had made.

It was JD’s turn to roll his eyes. “I wouldn't want little Miss. Barbie, even if I didn't have you.”

“She thinks you’re married. Who wants a married man?” Veronica scoffed.

“People want what you can’t have, Mrs. Dean”

“How philosophical of you, Mr. Dean,” she teased. “But seriously, she’s annoying and needs to back the fuck off.”

“Is someone jealous?”

Veronica scoffed again, “guess again. She acts like I’m not there which is very rude.”

“I agree.”

“She needs to leave you alone, so she’s not rude to me anymore,” Veronica sighed. They stopped talking while they finished the dinner and moved to the sofa, it was their nightly routine to watch reruns of the news after dinner. 

They liked to see if there was any new information on the bombing, it was beginning to be talked about less and less as the days passed. Veronica Sawyer was no longer a common household name. She had found it ironic that she was the one student everyone knew in the country and one of the only students who had survived. They watched the news in silence, there was nothing new on their old school.

_ I wish they would talk about me more. I was the one who started this all.  _ Heather commented after the news was over and Veronica went to wash the dishes. Kurt and Ram mumbled in agreement.

“Why would you want that?” Veronica asked out loud. JD turned to watch her from the sofa but didn't say anything. It was easier for Veronica, he had figured, to speak out loud. It didn't make her feel as crazy.

_ I want people to know about me. _

“You are such an attention whore.”

_ I am not, I died okay? I want my death to mean something! _

“Do you mean something important like teaching a nation not to kill themselves or as in you becoming famous?”

_ Becoming famous. _

“What’s she saying?” JD interrupted.

“She’s being a bitch.”

_ Am not. _

“Are Kurt and Ram there?” JD asked Veronica, she shook her head.

“Heather just left as well,” Veronica continued to wash and dry the dishes as JD watched her intently. “JD? I was thinking, maybe I should try and find a job-“

“No.”

“You didn't even let me finish!”

“You’re not getting another job, Veronica. You know stress makes Heather worse, I regret letting you work at all.” 

JD didn't add that he needed to be able to watch her, and know what she was doing. She didn’t need to know about that and she never would. He was right about the stress, it did make the voices worse for Veronica. A fight with JD would usually result in all of the students coming in full force to fuck with her. JD tried to keep her as stress-free as possible but it was hard, Veronica was a stressful person.

“It sucks, JD, being stuck in this house all morning by myself. I have no one to talk to!” Veronica argued. “I’m either here or at Annie’s.”

“You have me.”

“I can’t talk to you!” Veronica cried out in anger, tugging on her hair harshly, something she had been doing more and more when she felt overloaded. “I want to talk to someone about you! Why do you think girls have friends? Plus, you’re not here in the mornings or on Monday.”

“Fine, talk to Heather.”

Veronica glared at JD, who looked slightly ashamed at his comment. “Great, that’s great. I’ll talk to the fucking voices in my head! I’m sure that’ll keep me sane!”

“Look, we won’t be here for much longer anyway. No point in getting a job just to leave it.”

“You said we weren’t leaving for another two months at least.”

“Yeah, two months, you can’t find, apply, get and work at a job in two months,” JD explained. “It’s unfair on the employer.”

“Since when do you give a crap about other people?” Veronica crossed her arms across her chest and stared at him.

“Fine, I don’t. It’s not that I don’t want you to work, I’m worried about you. You’re talking to Heather more and more lately, it seems like she’s always here. The other day you said you saw her again, that's the fourth time this month!” JD stood and walked to her, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his embrace. She didn't relax. “I don’t want you to get hurt because you’re working too hard.

_ That’s bullshit.  _ Heather scoffed.  _ You know that JD is talking shit right now, don’t you Veronica? He doesn't even care about you. It’s all about keeping the secret a secret. _

“Go away,” Veronica muttered. “I’m talking to JD.”

_ Aw, look. Veronica’s having a private conversation _ . Ram cooed mockingly.

_ Adorable _ . Kurt laughed. For a brief moment, Veronica saw all three of them sitting on the sofa on their knees facing Veronica and JD. It startled her and she moved back, JD catching her as she stumbled slightly. Heather’s lips were still stained bright blue, her silk robe still tied around her waist. Kurt and Ram were still only in underwear with bullet holes in their chest and neck respectively.

“You saw them again,” it wasn't a question. JD could always tell from Veronica’s face when she saw them.

“It’s not work that stresses me out. It’s you.”

JD pulled her closer. “The last time you saw them was at work because Annie asked you to take a table with three girls on it. You told me you saw Heather, Kurt, and Ram sitting opposite them,” he was right again. 

Annie’s was a popular hangout after school. It was always hard for Veronica to serve the students, pretend she was older than them and pretend that she didn't kill hundreds of students from another school, even if it wasn’t her plan. The time she had actually seen Heather, Kurt, and Ram was when she saw three girls that reminded her of the Heathers. Veronica lent closer to JD as she reminded of the event and fiddled with the bracelets on her wrist.

“It’s okay Veronica. One day, when this is all a distant memory, you can do whatever you want,” JD whispered, he was lying to her but he needed her to calm down so she didn't freak out on him. Lying had become so easy to him over the years, he couldn’t even tell where the lying ended and the truth started anymore. “You can go to college or something.”

“How? I’m dead.”

JD shrugged. “Fake person or something.”

“I told you, I’m not committing any more crimes.”

“Okay, Heather Dean,” he mocked. “That’s a crime.”

_ I hate hearing my name with his last name. It’s like we’re fucking married or something disgusting like that. _

“Fuck off,” Veronica said, to both Heather and JD.

_ Well, I know when I’m not welcome. _

Veronica spun her head around to face the sofa, were she guessed Heather was. “Do you? ‘Cause you never fucking leave when I want you to. Just leave me alone,” she spun back to JD. “I want to go to bed. Can I?”

He nodded slowly. “Why’d you ask?”

“You seem to like controlling every other aspect of my life, I just guessed you’d want to control my fucking sleeping schedule as well.” 

“Fuck off Veronica,” JD sighed. “Do whatever you want.”

“Great, so I can get a job?”

He rolled his eyes. “Do whatever you want in this house.”

She raised an eyebrow and took in a depth breath and started yelling. “My name is Veronica Sawyer and -” JD covered her mouth with his hands, a deep frown on his face. When she had stopped he let go. “- my boyfriend JD bombed -” This time he covered her mouth with his own and kissed her until she had gone limp in his arms, totally absorbed in the kiss. 

He kissed down her neck and across her chest, moving her slowly so that she was on the bed with himself on top of her. Her top came off, Veronica didn't remember when. It was easier to get lost in the kiss, forget everything. Who she was, who he was. It didn’t matter in those moments. JD was going to kiss her, he always did, so she had learned to turn herself off when he did. She turned her head to the side as JD kissed down her neck to her collarbone, when she opened her eyes she saw Heather, standing with her arms crossed, her knee bent and her head tilted. Veronica closed her eyes, she’d go away when she reopened them, she always did. She opened her eyes again and Heather was still there, her smirk even bigger than before. 

JD jumped off Veronica when she screamed suddenly. He pulled her into a sitting position, her eyes still trained on the figure of Heather. JD was trying to talk to her but she couldn't tear her eyes away from the girl stood beside the bed.

“Veronica!” JD shouted. “Veronica!”

“She’s not going away!” Veronica sobbed loudly, watching as Heather started to walk around the room. She didn't say anything, which made it even more nerve-wracking for Veronica. Heather always talked. “She’s not going away!”

“Can you see Heather?” JD asked slowly. Veronica nodded. “Is there anyone else?” Veronica shook her head at his question. “As she gone yet?” Again, Veronica shook her head. “Look at me,” JD commanded, Veronica looked him in the eye. “It’s okay. She’s going to go away because she’s not real. She’s not real so she can’t hurt you.”

_ We may not be real, but we can hurt you. _ The chorus of students sang. The pressure started building in Veronica’s head like it always did. They repeated it over and over again.  _ We may not be real, but we can hurt you. We may not be real, but we can hurt you. _

Veronica started sobbing louder, holding her head. JD cupped her hands in his own, holding her head up to look into her tear-filled eyes. “They can’t hurt you.”

_ We may not be real, but we can hurt you. _

Darkness started to dance at the edge of Veronica’s vision, threatening to cause Veronica to pass out. After all that had happened that night, Veronica welcomed the darkness with open arms and a large smile gracing her tear stained face. 

~~

“Annie’s Attic. This is Sophie speaking, how can I help?” Sophie chirped over the phone, JD groaned. He had been hoping Annie would pick up.

“Hey Sophie, it’s James.”

JD could almost hear Sophie smirk over the phone, “James, how are you?”

“I’m fine, I was just calling to say Heather and I won't be coming to work today.”

“Oh, why not?” Sophie pouted.

“Heather had a bad panic attack last night and she’s not well enough to come in,” JD explained. “Can you tell Annie?”

“So why can’t you come in?” Sophie asked, her voice higher than normal. JD knew what she was doing, she always spoke higher when she was flirting with him.

“I have to look after Heather,” He spoke slowly, wanting the conversation to be over but knowing Sophie would have a hard time understanding him. “She’s not in a good way.”

“I’m sure you can leave her for one afternoon.”

JD scoffed quietly, he didn't know if Sophie heard. “Thanks for the help but I can’t. I actually like my wife and want to be with her when she’s in trouble.”

Now it was Sophie’s turn to scoff, she did so loudly, wanting JD to hear. “James, it’s unfair for you both to take the day of work. I told Annie we shouldn’t hire Heather, it would lead to this. Hiring her has only resulted in drama and headaches. Why’d you marry her?” She said in an accusatory tone, her voice turning hard when she said, Heather. JD felt his rage build up as he listened to her speak about Veronica like that.

“Listen to me Sophie,” JD snarled in a deep tone, scaring Sophie into unusual silence. “I wouldn’t say anything else to me about my wife.”

“Okay, I’ll tell Annie,” Sophie replied meekly, JD hung up.

“JD?” Veronica mumbled from the bed.

He left the phone, which was beside the kitchen, and walked back to the bed. He lay down beside Veronica under the duvet and pulled her in closer to him. “What’s up?”

“Who were you talking to?”

“Sophie. I called them to say we aren’t going to work today, I called Eagles as well.” JD explained. Eagles was the other cafe that JD worked at in the morning, it was a small cafe that didn't serve many people which was perfect for JD, easy work and easy money. Because JD worked there as well, they were able to save all of Veronica’s pay and the majority of JD’s from Annie’s as well. It meant JD was comfortable leaving New York if they had to with the money they’d saved already but he wanted them to save more, he had lived his life on the road and knew the costs of it. So far they were doing well, JD hadn’t expected them to get jobs until roughly now so the added two months were very helpful.

“I can go to work today,” Veronica protested. “I’m fine.”

He scoffed. “You passed out again last night, you need to rest. Besides, I want to go to the library today.”

“Why?”

“We’re going to do some reading on why you are seeing the dead.” 

“I already know why,” Veronica replied. “Heather, Kurt, and Ram told me. It’s ‘cause I feel guilty.”

“Yeah, well I’m not taking advice from some of the dumbest people I ever meet.”

_ Hey, no fair! _ Kurt complained.  _ I’m not that dumb, I got a C- on a math quiz once. Plus, I’m a student-athlete! _

“We’re going to go and read up on this. Hopefully, find a way to get rid of them or something,” JD paused to stretch. “But first, let’s go back to sleep,” Veronica didn't argue this time. 

They woke up again just before midday and Veronica made them a quick breakfast before they left for the library. It was a grand building, busy but still quiet. Libraries had always been a favourite spot for both Veronica and JD, reading silently was a pass time both enjoyed thoroughly, the would often spend their evening reading together or JD would read to Veronica. They walked to the librarian's desk together and waited for one of them to come back. Veronica looked around the library, marveling at the beauty of the old building. There were groups of people around their age sitting at the tables beside them, Veronica guessed they were students from the abundance of textbooks sitting beside them.

“Good afternoon,” an older lady greeted as she walked to the desk. “Can I help you?”

JD smiled at her, laying on the charm he had. The charm that had one Veronica over in the beginning. “My girlfriend and I are doing a school project on hallucinations and mentally ill people. We were wondering if you have any books on that we could read.”

“Of course. Follow me,” the lady brought them to one of the back rows of books, they were in the middle of two aisles of books that were slightly taller than JD. “These books here will be the most helpful,” she said, gesturing to a row of books. “If you need any help come and get me,” with that, she smiled and walked away.

“You ready to read?” JD asked as he got the first four books, handing two to Veronica they walked to a love chair at the end of the aisle. They got comfortable and began reading. JD’s first book wasn’t helpful at all as it dealt solely with children under ten, his second book was better. It talked about trauma and the onset of hallucinations in a previously healthy brain. Veronica’s first book was about death and the hearing the voices of the dead, which made sense, but never mentioned seeing the dead people.

Every time they would finish with their two books they would go and get more, they read in silence the majority of the time, only speaking when they read something they felt was good or asking if they needed new books. They didn't find an absolute cause but both were pretty certain it was because of the trauma Veronica had experienced, most books they read agreed with that so after they discovered that they started looking for treatments. Psychotherapy was the most common treatment they could find, which JD was against since Veronica couldn't see anyone about her problems. It wouldn't make sense to get her to see a therapist for a few weeks before they left and have to lie about it anyway.

At five forty-five the lady that had shown them the books they needed came back. “I’m sorry but we’re closing the library now. I have to ask you to leave.”

JD and Veronica nodded, closing the books they were reading. Veronica had been reading a case study done on treatments with children who developed hallucinations after one or both parents had died while JD had been reading a book written by Dr. Dottie McDowell, a professor of mental illnesses and trauma that produced hallucinations.

“Goodness, how old are you two?” She asked as she saw the pile of books they had been reading.

“Seventeen,” JD replied.

The lady tilted her head ever so slightly, almost as if she didn't believe him. “You two must be extremely smart kids to understand these concepts and cases.”

The pair looked at each, they hadn't even thought about the fact these books were not meant for people their age. They had always been ahead of everyone else, so it wasn't uncommon for them to understand something people their age may not. “Guess so,” JD shrugged and turned back to the lady. 

“Thank you for your help today,” Veronica and he stood up and went to pick up the books they had read.

“Oh don’t worry about that. We’ll do it,” she said and motioned for them to put the books back down.

Veronica and JD walked out of the library, it seemed like they were the last ones told as no one else was walking out. JD went to hold Veronica’s hand but she pulled her away, reading all the books had made her angry at him. It was him that caused the trauma that was messing with her head, it was all his fault. JD looked down at her with raised eyebrows but she pretended she couldn't see him. They walked silently to the car, about five minutes away, both lost in deep thought.

Veronica couldn’t stop thinking about what was going on in her head, their first guess was schizophrenia but soon believed it wasn’t. More often than not it wasn’t schizophrenia even when the person was saying and hearing things that weren't there. That had confused Veronica, as for her they were there. Just because no one else could hear or see them didn't mean they weren't real. She was torn, a part of her knew they weren't real and were just pieces of her imagination but another part of her was convinced they were real and it was everyone else that couldn't see them who was wrong. Veronica didn't know what to believe anymore, she didn't even feel like her emotions were her’s. On more than one occasion Heather would make her angry, absolutely furious, and laugh as Veronica struggled to control it. Veronica couldn't trust anything anymore, she honestly didn't even know if JD was real sometimes, she didn't even know if she was real. Was this just her version of hell?

JD was thinking about ways to help Veronica. He was lost, not knowing what to do. He had thought that the bomb at their school would make her better, she was always so careful with how she acted around everyone, one slip up and she would be cast aside. It made him so angry to know that he was the only person she could be herself around, yet at the same time, it made him proud. She trusted him more than anyone else. He had been shocked when Veronica hadn’t gotten better after a few weeks, sure he had thought she would mourn for the students but would soon get over it. She just wasn't getting over it. He would still watch as she had nightmares every night, unable to do anything. 

He briefly thought about therapy for her, it’d be expensive and time-consuming, but it might help her. He cast the thought aside, what would happen if she slipped up and tell the therapist what happened, she had nearly introduced herself as Veronica at the cafe a few times, and JD didn't think he could trust her to lie like that. He didn't know what to do, all he wanted was for Veronica to be happy and content with her life. He had messed up, he knew that, but still he thought it was for the best. The entire country was better for it, suicide prevention was a hot topic all of a sudden. He was angry at himself for messing up but he was also angry at Veronica for not seeing the benefits of what he did. He needed her to see the good, so he started to make a plan on how to get her to see the benefits. He needed her to see that the school had messed with her mind, made her blind to the truth and he had set her free!

“You know you can tell me anything,” JD said suddenly as they drove to the local pizza place, Veronica didn't want to cook.

“What?”

“If something’s bothering you or you need to talk. I’m here.”

“Yeah, thanks but I can’t really talk about how psychotic you are to you,” Veronica rolled her eyes.

“I prefer the term creative,” JD replied easily. “Besides, I wasn’t talking about me. I was talking about Heather and stuff.”

Veronica shrugged, “I don’t - There’s not much to say.”

JD pulled in front of the pizza shop, parking in an empty space. He turned to Veronica, “I know you don’t want to talk to me about this, but it’s me or no one right now and I think you need to talk about what’s on your mind." 

“Go buy me a pizza and I’ll think about it.”

He lent over and kissed her cheek, Veronica froze. “The normal?” He asked, ignoring Veronica’s rigid posture and expression.

She nodded once and he left to go and get the pizza. She was shocked because JD hadn’t kissed her so softly and innocently since before the bombing, usually, it was rough make out sessions that would turn Veronica into putty in his hands. He never kissed her like that, and never in public. The most PDA they had done was when JD would force Veronica to hold his hand or when he wrapped his arm around her waist. 

Sighing she leaned forward and pressed the cigarette lighter and grabbed the box from the center consul, she needed to calm her nerves. She also turned on the radio, some random song was just finishing as Veronica lighted her cigarette and as JD came back to the car with a box of pizza. He opened his door and sat the pizza on Veronica’s lap. He took the cigarette from her mouth, took a puff and gave it back to her.

“News from Sherwood, Ohio today as it has been announced that all but two bodies have been returned to their families. The two bodies that are still missing are from seventeen-year-olds Veronica Sawyer and Jason Dean. This is raising suspicion among the town as Veronica Sawyer was the student who wrote the note that the students signed. There has been no statement released from the FBI or local authorities on the whereabouts of their bodies. Some have suggested, however, that Veronica Sawyer and Jason Dean may have been the ones who set the bomb off and that is why they can’t find their bodies. Neither of their parents have made a statement, however, some have noted that Jason Dean’s father works with bombs in his deconstruction business, and Jason Dean may have learned how bombs work from him. Veronica Sawyer, as we were told from surviving students, was extremely popular in the school and they all agreed that it makes sense she was one of the students who choreographed the mass suicide. We are now waiting for a statement from the FBI or local authorities. In other news, the stock market-

Veronica leaned forward and turned the radio off before leaning back into her seat.

“Well shit,” JD commented. “That sucks.”

_ The police are going to figure it out. _ Heather interjected.  _ Times up honey, maybe say your prayers? _

“We might have to leave New York sooner-“ JD paused. “No, that’d look even worse. We should stay here so it doesn't look like we’re running.”

_ Keep it together. _ Heather whispered as Veronica started to panic.

“Don’t worry,” JD said and placed a hand on her knee. “I’ll think of something."

_ I have an idea. Kill yourself, come join me in hell. _

“It’ll be okay.”

_ You know it won’t. Everything’s falling apart. _

“We can fix this.”

_ You got to be tripping if you think you, or JD, can fix this. _

“We’ll be okay.” 

_ You’re going to fucking die. _

“SHUT UP!” Veronica screamed. Both JD and Heather stopped talking, JD looked over at her in concern. “I can’t fucking think with you both talking to me!”

_ Touchy. _

“Go away Heather,” Veronica started to sob. “Please, just go away.”

_ I’ll take pity on the pitiful. Just this once. _

“Did she go?” JD asked after a moment. Veronica nodded her head softly. “Whatever she was saying, it was wrong.”

Veronica shook her head, “she was right.”

“What was she saying?”

She sighed softly, leaning her head against the cold window. “That we’re fucked and I’m going to die.” 

“Why would you die?”

“She wants me to kill myself, join her in hell.”

JD’s hands tightened on the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white. “Don’t. Suicide isn’t an option.”

“You killed hundreds of people using suicide as a cover,” Veronica yelled. She was so sick of everything - of JD, of Heather, of her life. 

“Yeah, well that doesn’t mean you can do it,” JD shrugged. “They didn't mean anything.”

Veronica glared at him, “you’re a fucking sociopath.”

“I like being a sociopath. I’m not burdened by things like guilt or love.”

Veronica scoffed before raising an eyebrow at him. “I thought you loved me?"

“Yeah, but that’s not a burden for me. Your love for your parents and shit is. Plus, you’re the only person I love.”

“My love for my parents is not a fucking burden,” Veronica spat.

“I’m all that you need,” JD replied softly. “You know, the moment I met you I knew there was something about you that I wanted. Turns out it wasn’t something about you, I just wanted you.”

“So why? Why the killings and the destruction? Why couldn't we just be a normal couple?” Veronica asked. “We should be worrying about what colour to wear to prom, not about getting caught by the police.”

“I love you, what I did I did for us.”

“You can’t love someone until you love yourself.”

“Bullshit,” JD scoffed. “I’ve never loved myself, but you, I love you so much that I forget to hate myself.”

“I’m trying to be mad at you but you’re being really fucking sweet right now,” Veronica muttered and JD laughed softly. 

“It’s cause you love me,” JD sang, smiling at her. Veronica scoffed but didn't even try to deny it. Wasn’t like she could.


	6. ~6~

Veronica gritted her teeth in anger as Sophie pushed past her for the third time that day. JD noticed and sent Veronica a small smile, trying to reassure her. I didn't work as Sophie pushed her again. It had become very common in the small cafe for Sophie to ‘accidentally’ push Veronica when she was moving around her.

_ You could always ask JD to make her a, _ Heather paused and Veronica could visualize her pursing her lips slightly,  _ a hangover cure _ .

_ Why would I do that? _ Veronica asked in her own head.

_ Get rid of her, she’s annoying, isn’t she? _

_ Piss off. _

“Heather! Can you take table three?” Annie asked, breaking Veronica away from her thoughts.

Veronica nodded, “of course.” 

She walked over to the table filled with six students from the local school, she sighed internally at the innocence they had. “What can I get you guys today?” She asked, faking happiness. Lying was becoming easier and easier every single day - lying about how she was, about who she was, about everything. 

“Three chocolate milkshakes, two banana, and one vanilla,” one of the boys said, he was wearing a school jacket and Veronica’s mind was instantly sent back to Kurt and Ram. “Oh, and three fries.”

Writing the order down Veronica nodded, “anything else?”

“Just your number,” the boy winked.

Veronica laughed lightly, “sorry but I’m already taken.”

“Shame, is it serious?” He asked, Veronica had to hand it to him, he didn't quit.

“I’d say marriage is pretty serious,” she nodded.

“You're married? Jeez, I thought you were like seventeen.”

“I’m nineteen,” Veronica lied, that’s what everyone in New York thought. It was young enough that Veronica looked it but still old enough to be married, JD was twenty-one in their lie.

“Who’s the lucky guy?” He asked, Veronica was kind of annoyed at his questioning but didn't want Annie to get angry at her like last time she had freaked out when serving teenagers. Instead of speaking she turned around and pointed at JD who was behind the counter, he noticed her pointing and raised an eyebrow at them. Veronica shrugged and turned back to the students.

“I don’t see a ring,” a girl from the table commented.

Sophie came up beside Veronica, smiled at the students and nodded. “You never did tell us why you don’t have a ring,” Her high-pitched voice rang across the cafe.

“I didn't want one,” Veronica lied simply. JD joined them, wrapping an arm around Veronica’s waist and pulling her close, something Veronica realized he did whenever he was getting angry or possessive.

“What girl doesn't want a ring?” The same girl from the table asked, her tone was harsh like she didn't like Veronica already.

“What girl gets married at eighteen?” Sophie added just as rudely.

JD decided they were done, “is there anything else you’d like to order?” The students shook their head, slightly intimidated by the dark-clothed man with the deep voice. “Great, Sophie, I’m sure you won’t mind taking over this table,” he pulled Veronica away from the table and behind the counter. Some other customers had watched the ordeal with curious eyes but turned back to their tables in disappointment when it was over.

“I hate her,” JD whispered to Veronica, his voice deep with unchecked rage. He pulled her into a tight embrace, holding her tightly against his chest. “Another fucking Heather.” 

Veronica sighed and rested her head on his chest.

“I want her to die.”

Pulling her head back quickly she glared at him. “Fuck, JD, stop.”

“No. Fuck her, she’s a goddamn bitch and the world is better off without her in it.”

“You have done enough,” Veronica glared, her voice a hushed whisper. “I can’t believe you! I can’t believe I actually thought you’d changed.”

“Tonight,” JD said thoughtfully, he spoke slowly, “I’m going to get rid of one more bitch. Another suicide note and some slit wrists.”

“If you do it tonight the police will suspect you,” Veronica replied, trying to buy her time so she could stop this, although she had tried to stop him with the bombing and it hadn’t gone well for her.

Annie cleared her throat loudly beside them. “Lovebirds, if you don’t mind, we have tables to wait.”

Veronica smiled at her, although it felt more like a grimace, “sorry.”

“It’s fine, just get back to work,” Annie smiled at them and they broke apart,

Veronica going to a back table which needed to be cleaned and JD staying at the counter to serve another customer. The pair stayed away from each other for the rest of their shifts, which was only a few hours, as they each thought about what JD had said. He had meant it, he wanted her to die, she had upset Veronica which was more than enough for JD to kill but there was something else as well, some dark desire he had pushed away after the bombing, a desire to kill. 

To have revenge on everyone that did wrong? He wondered why he had the desire as he wiped a bench. Was it in his genetics? Or was it how he was raised? Never having an ounce of control over his life. Or was it Veronica and the idea of protecting what is his. Maybe it was all three, he thought, a little bit of both. Or maybe, deep down, he just liked it. No reason needed, just a desire to watch the light drain from people’s eyes. He doubted that actually since he felt no need to kill people he didn't know. Aside from the students, but that was different altogether, that was for Veronica. He couldn't see himself taking out his gun, which he bought to work unknown to Veronica, and shooting the people in the cafe. Unless Veronica asked him to.

It always came back to Veronica.

He’d do anything for her, he knew that and he thought she did as well. He’d already killed and lied for her, for them. She was meant to be his. No one else got to have her, not even her parents. Hell, sharing her with work fucked him over, and she didn't even like the people there. She didn't know the extent of what he felt for her, she never did. She had seen their relationship as a normal high school romance but JD knew, and he knew that he knew, he knew what their relationship actually was. It was god. It was everything. What he did, he did for them, their relationship and, for her. He loved her, he knew that, he loved every bit about her. He couldn't imagine his life without her. Well, he knew what he’d do if she ever left him. Hunt her down and kill them both.

“Thank you guys,” Annie said as they finished tidying the cafe. It was almost seven which meant they were about to finish. The cafe had been closed for half an hour and they had spent the last half an hour tiding in silence as Veronica and JD both were deep in thought. “You guys can go home now.”

Veronica smiled at her and went to the back to grab hers and JD’s bags from their locker. JD stayed beside the counter and when Annie turned her back he swiped the entry diary from the counter, it took him far too long to learn someone's handwriting but Veronica could copy anything. He hid the book in his jacket as Veronica walked back into the cafe, Sophie close on her heels.

“See you on Tuesday!” Sophie called to Annie. It was Friday night, meaning they didn't have to be back until their afternoon shift on Tuesday, Annie had different staff on the weekends, Monday and in the mornings.

“Bye,” Veronica called, JD waved, and all three of them stepped into the night air. Sophie smiled at JD, ignored Veronica and started on her walk home. JD quickly pulled Veronica to their car and started following Sophie, at a distance so she couldn't see them.

“JD, we can’t do this!” She protested as he turned the same corner as Sophie. She had hoped for a few days grace period where she could figure it all out. “JD!”

“Veronica, I swear to god, I will gag you.”

She was getting desperate, she could never stop him when he got angry. “JD please!”

“I’m not joking.”

“JD! This isn't okay. Sophie didn't do anything wrong.”

JD turned his head to look at her, she was on the verge of tears which only made him angrier. She shouldn't be crying. No one should be allowed to make her cry. “Say one more thing and I will gag and handcuff you, Veronica.”

“I won’t let you do this!”

“What are you going to do?” He scoffed and pulled over to the side of the road and tore the bottom of his shirt off to make a strip of fabric. He lent over and held the fabric up to Veronica’s lips. “Open wide darling.”

Veronica snapped her mouth closed and refused to open it. JD sighed before gripping her hair in his hand and tipping her head back forcefully, causing her to gasp in shock and allowing JD to put the gag in her mouth and tying it at the back of her head. Immediately she went to untie it but JD held her hands down on her lap. “Reach up again and I will tie your hands as well, your choice.” 

She didn't move. JD nodded and pulled the car back onto the road and continued to follow Sophie.

They followed Sophie for five minutes before she entered her apartment building, it was a tall and grey, reaching around ten stories. It wasn’t a bad part of town, JD concluded, but it wasn't nice at the same time. Somewhere that a suicide wouldn't raise much alarm. He watched her enter the building before getting out of the car and gesturing for Veronica to follow him. They walked up to the room names and JD searched for Sophie’s name, his finger gently traced the list of names before he saw her name. Seventh floor, room three. He pulled Veronica, who still had the makeshift gag in her mouth, to the elevator where they rode in silence to the seventh floor.

He knocked loudly on her door, the sound echoing down the empty hallway. JD had made sure that Sophie could see him but not Veronica when she looked in the peephole. Quickly he turned to Veronica, winked and whispered: “don’t worry and go with it.”

“JD,” Sophie said in surprise after she had opened the door. “This is unexpected.”

“Sorry,” he replied with a shrug of his shoulders. “I just really wanted to see you.”

“Where’s Heather?”

“At home. She thinks I’m helping my other boss out. She’s got no idea that I’m here.”

Sophie opened the door wider, JD stepped closer so she couldn't see Veronica. “And why are you here?”

“Heather, she doesn’t,” he paused and faked a sigh. “She doesn’t satisfy me anymore.”

Believing his lie and opened the door even wider. “Come on in then.” 

She smirked at him and stepped backward. JD stepped forwards and cupped her face with his hands, leaning down to press a harsh and unfeeling kiss on her lips. Veronica could instantly tell that he was forcing this on himself, he never kissed her like that and for a brief moment pride swirled in Veronica’s mind as she recognized that JD only loved her like that. Taking her gag off finally, Veronica watched from the corner as JD pushed her into the room further, she didn't know what to do, a small part of her wanted Sophie to die just like a small part of her didn't want JD to stop when he blew up the school or when he killed Kurt and Ram. A bigger part of her was screaming to call the police before JD killed the girl. It’d be so easy, just run to a neighbour’s door and knock until someone answered before she could finally call the police.

Veronica started walking.

Inside the apartment, JD had Sophie pinned against a wall, her face turned away from the door were JD thought she stood. Sophie was moaning and whimpering, sounds that made JD want to gag with repulsion, and her hands were roaming over his body. 

When he realized that Veronica wasn’t in the room he pulled himself of her and whispered: “I think we should move the bedroom.”

“Okay,” she replied her voice higher than normal.

“Give me a moment,” he said, “I’ll meet you there.”

She nodded and left the room, as soon as she was out of sight JD dashed out of the apartment to find Veronica. He was right, he has assumed she would be trying to get help, and there she was. Knocking on a door down the hall. He stalked over to her, wrapping one arm around her waist and the other around her neck, not tight enough to hurt but enough so she would be scared. 

“Come on.”

“Leave me alone.”

He didn’t listen, just dragged her back to the apartment, the door closing just as the neighbour opened hers. Pulling Veronica with him they went into the kitchen and he got out a knife from the block.

“I’m not going to help you.”

Tracing the knife lightly down Veronica’s cheek made her freeze in his arms. “I just need you to write a little note for me, you can do that. Can’t you?” 

Nodding, Veronica flinched. He smiled and kissed her cheek, taking the knife away. JD let go of Veronica put grabbed her hand, pulling them into Sophie’s room. 

“Close your eyes,” he called out as they walked. 

“Okay,” she replied. Veronica guessed she was trying to be seductive but it wasn’t working. 

When they got into the room she was laying on the bed - lucky still dressed - with her eyes closed like instructed. JD let got of Veronica, kissing her cheek, before he turned his head back to Sophie, he went over to the bed and started kissing down her neck again. Those kisses were soon replaced with the blade of the knife, pressed firmly against her neck but not enough to draw blood. Sophie’s eyes went wide as she realized what JD had and saw Veronica standing by her door.

“Veronica, I bought up the book from work, can you copy her handwriting.”

Veronica didn't respond to him but picked the book up as well as a pad of paper from the table and a pen. JD had picked Sophie up and was carrying her to ensuite as Veronica wrote. Deciding to write a simple and short message she began to imitate the writing of the girl. ‘Why live life if there is nothing to live for? The sweet embrace of death seems better than anything on this planet.’ It wasn’t a lot, but then again Veronica thought, neither was Sophie.

She stood, bringing the note with her, and walked into the bathroom were JD stood over a pale Sophie lying in the bathtub. Veronica and JD stood silently and watched as the girl bled out in her bathroom, her eyes wide and breaths harsh. While they watched JD took the note and read over it, nodding he placed the note beside the bloodied knife which sat on the previously white sink bench. 

The sight of blood made Veronica feel sick, it seemed like the floor swayed under her. The smell pierced the air and it was all she could smell. Out of all the deaths, this had been the worst she had witnessed. The blood and the waiting were too much for her. She reached out to grab the bench, trying to keep herself steady, when her hand made contact with a small pool of blood. She shrieked and withdraw her hand instantly, freaking herself out. JD rolled his eyes at her but still pulled her in for a short and tight hug, comforting her.

“She deserved it,” was all JD said when he was sure she was dead. Veronica followed quietly, the adrenaline and excitement from the kill had been lost and now she felt tired and numb. JD held her hand as they walked back to the car, the didn't speak until they were inside their own apartment.

Veronica busied herself cooking them dinner, chicken alfredo with a side salad and homemade garlic bread. It wasn’t the easiest meal she knew how to make by a stretch but she enjoyed cooking and cleaning to get her mind off the ensuing storm in her mind. She sighed and started to speak in her head, hopping a person would come and answer.  _ Did I do the right thing? _

_ I think that depends on you,  _ Heather answered.

_ I don’t know! That’s the problem, I just don’t know. _

_ Should we ask for some second opinions? _

_ Who? _

_ You’ve seen me, blue lips and all. You’ve seen Kurt and Ram with their bullet holes. Maybe it’s time you see what happened to the rest of us. _

_ I don’t want to see that.  _ Veronica protested.

_ You don’t get a choice. _

Veronica turned away from the sink so that she was facing the dining table to her left. JD was sitting on the sofa, head in a book, so she knew he wouldn't bother her unless she started talking out loud. Slowly the four table chairs were filled with the bodies of the Heathers and her old best friend who she had abandoned for popularity. Heather Duke had blood smeared down her entire outfit, the red coat she had adopted was black with burn marks. Her hair was burnt as well, parts missing altogether. She had black burn marks and cuts covering her face, the worst part was when she breathed, small clouds of black ash would escape from her mouth. Heather McNamara was still in her cheerleading outfit, although it was covered in blood, but her head made Veronica feel ill. It was con-caved in on itself like something had struck it hard. Her hair was matted down with dried blood and one of her eyes was partially closed. Betty Finn sat directly opposite Veronica, she couldn't see anything wrong with her until she stood up slowly and Veronica saw the piece of what she assumed was a table lodged in the middle of stomach.

_ Oh god. _ Veronica sobbed.  _ I-I’m so sorry. _

_ Your sorry isn't going to do much.  _ Heather Duke scoffed.

Betty sat back down, smiling ever so slightly at Veronica. _ How’ve you been? _

_ Who cares? _

_ Shut up, Heather.  _ Heather Chandler responded to Duke.

Veronica sobbed again, Kurt and Ram appearing to stand behind Heather Chandler.  _ I-I- _

_ Don’t worry about it.  _ Betty interrupted.

MacNamara nodded, _ it’s okay. None of us blame you. _

_ Speak for yourself.  _ Duke bit back.

Kurt and Ram nodded before Ram agreed, _ yeah, I blame you. _

_ We don’t.  _ MacNamara rolled her eyes, grabbing hold of Betty’s bloodstained hand.

Heather Chandler tilted her head, raking her eyes over all of the other dead students. _ I don’t, not anymore. Not really. _

_ She didn’t shot you. _

_ I was poisoned, she gave me the cup. _

_ Without knowing. _

_ Technically, she didn’t know about you two either.  _ MacNamara interrupted _. She only knew about us. _

_ I’m so sorry. _

_ Don’t say sorry, Veronica.  _ Duke scoffed. _ It does nothing. If you want to do something that actually means something then get the knife and stab JD in the fucking neck. _

_ Heather.  _ MacNamara sighed.

_ What? I’m right.  _ Slowly, just liked they appeared all of the ghosts left Veronica’s house until it was only her and Heather Duke.  _ I don’t blame you -well- not enterally. JD’s messed you up, he’s made you blind to the truth of what really happened and he still is. Just, try to see clearly for a change. Don’t listen to everything he says, it’ll be easier. _

_ Thanks, Heather. _ Veronica whispered out loud. Duke smiled back at her.

“Heather annoying you again?” JD asked from the sofa.

Veronica turned to look at him. “No, Heather,” when Veronica turned back to look at the table Duke had already left.

“I thought only Chandler talked to you.”

“She bought everyone this time. Heather, Heather, Heather, Kurt, and Ram as well as Betty,” she paused and moved to the sofa, sitting beside him. “God, you should have seen them, they looked horrible. I think I know how they died.” 

“You can’t know that.”

“I saw it.”

He shook his head, “you’re making it up based on likely deaths.”

“Heather Duke was smoke inhalation, Heather McNamara was a blow to the head and Betty was hit by a piece of table or something,” she said anyway. 

JD pulled her closer. “How long could you see them?”

“The entire time,” Veronica replied, concerned that her mental state was worsening.

“It’ll be okay darling.”

Veronica sighed,  _ will it? _

She didn't get an answer. 


	7. ~7~

“I can’t believe she would do that,” Annie sobbed the next Tuesday morning. 

JD had just pretended to go to Sophie’s house when she didn't come to work and didn't answer her phone to find her. He’d gone and called the police when he ‘found’ her body in the bathtub. Veronica was now awkwardly consoling Annie as she cried at one of the tables in the cafe. The cafe had been closed until further notice as Sophie and Annie were very close, Sophie had worked there since she was fourteen. 

“I knew she felt alone and like she didn't mean anything but I didn't know how bad it was.”

JD smirked to himself, it was perfect. Sophie had a history which made her suicide even more likely, which meant it was less likely the police would even think about investigating further. He dropped smirk as Annie continued to talk, Veronica looked at him for help, not liking having to console the lady.

“I wish she had come and talked to me about this. I could have helped her. Suicide is never the answer.”

Finding out how close Annie was to Sophie made Veronica feel worse than she had previously but not as bad as she thought she should of, making her feel even worse. JD hadn’t cared about her relationships in the slightest, he had just pretended to feel shocked when they were questioned by the police. Neither Veronica or JD felt like they were a suspect.

“You two can go home now,” Annie said finally standing.

“Is there anything we can do?” Veronica asked, “around the shop?” She was trying to help the lady who had kindly given them a job before they killed someone she valued as a daughter.

She shook her head. “Go home. I’ll call you when I’m going to open the shop again. Don’t worry, it’s paid leave.”

Veronica was about to protest and demand a job for the two of them before JD interrupted her. “Call us if you need anything,” he pulled up their bag and tugged Veronica out of the empty cafe.

“What the hell JD? We should do something,” Veronica argued as they drove to the local food store. Veronica had been very lax with buying food and realized this morning that they didn't have anything, in all fairness, they only ever bought the things they would need for a few days, four max, because JD didn't want to waste any food if they had to pack up and leave suddenly.

“Doing something for Annie won’t do bring Sophie back. You must now that.”

“I’m not trying to bring her back! I’m trying to help Annie,” Veronica was suddenly reminded of a conversation like this they had already had. 

The day Veronica broke up with JD after he had shot his radio. He had argued that she couldn't bring them back and she had decided to leave him. It wasn’t a good memory for Veronica, especially the part where he pulled her into a deep kiss as she struggled against him. Her breakup plan hadn’t worked very well, after all, she was still with him. She tried to convince herself that she’s only with him because she was scared of what he would do if she left him but another part of her knew that she couldn't live without him and was too scared to lose him, just like Heather Chandler had told her, what seemed like, years ago.

Everything about Veronica and her life was spilt and confusing. Different parts of her constantly fighting over what she should do or what she should have done or how she should feel. It made her life a lot harder than it needed to be. Having ghosts of the people you killed haunting you would make anyone go insane and add the general confusion and panic she was constantly feeling made her life one hell of a rollercoaster.

“She doesn’t need help,” JD interrupted Veronica’s inner thoughts. “She needs to mourn for the bitch we killed.”

“She wasn’t that bad.”

“You wrote the note, Veronica. You obviously thought she was bad enough.”

“I had to! You held a knife to my head. You fucking psycho,” she muttered the last part. 

“Anyway, what’s for dinner?” JD asked.

Sighing, Veronica let it drop. She wanted to laugh at herself - he had held a knife to her and she couldn’t really bring herself to care. “What do you want?”

“Don’t know.” He paused, wondering if he should ask his next question or not. “Veronica? What do you think about marriage?”

“Between us?” Veronica looked over in shock.

JD nodded, not taking his eyes off the road, his cocky and arrogant personality gone.

“I think fuck you.”

“Is that really what you think?”

Veronica rolled her eyes. “Yes, asshole, sorry but I don’t want to marry the person who killed every one of my friends and kidnapped me from my family.”

“I didn't kidnap you,” JD scoffed.

“Yes, you did! I don’t want to be here! I want to be with my parents,” Veronica argued, getting angry.

“You’re free to leave at any time,” his cocky attitude was back Veronica noted.

“No, I’m fucking not.” 

“True,” JD agreed, “but it’s not like you’re trying.”

“You told me, no, you threatened me that if I went to the police you’d kill my parents.”

“Is that the only reason you’re still with me?” JD asked, teasing her slightly.

“Yes!” Veronica yelled at him, although she knew that wasn’t entirely true. Maybe she was with him because she still loved him, although she would never tell that to him.

“So if I gave you the choice to go back home, pretend you never meet me, would you?” JD asked.

“Yes. No question,” again, it was a slight lie. She would go back but she would have a second thought. She had hated her life before all of this. The only good bit was Betty and her old friends and they were dead. She only had her parents, who she missed and loved dearly, but couldn't imagine going and living somewhere with no one her age. She didn't think she could handle the grief-stricken faces of parents whose children she had killed.

“You hated your life before. Why’d you want to go back?”

“My life would be very different if I went back now, don’t you think?”

“I suppose. You’d be in prison.”

“I could just say you forced me into everything,” Veronica shot back. “My word against yours and I feel like I’m a bit saner than you are.”

He scoffed. “You see dead people.”

“The trauma you put me through.”

“Okay, you wouldn't be in prison. You’d be put in a mental hospital.”

“And you’d be dead.”

“How so?”

“Capital punishment is legal in Ohio and I feel like the jury won’t take kindly to someone who killed hundreds of children,” Veronica replied.

“So you’d probably be killed as well.”

“If you’re dead? I couldn’t give a fuck what happened to me,” another lie from Veronica as she knew she’d be devastated if JD died, even after all this.

“Okay, okay,” JD muttered, not liking where the conversation had gone but still finding the lies Veronica said amusing. “What’s for dinner?”

~~

“Fuck you JD!” Veronica yelled walking away from the table in their apartment where he sat glaring at her.

“You’re a lying bitch!” He rebutted. “I didn't fucking do anything!”

“Yes, you did asshole!”

JD stood from the table and lent over it towards Veronica. “It was you who fucked it all up!”

“Was not!” Veronica replied walking back over so they were face to face, only a centimeter or two between them. Lightning struck through the sky, momentary lighting the room better than the small lantern they had sitting on the table.

“Fuck this. I’m done,” JD growled, backing up and walking away from the table just as another clap of thunder echoed through the room.

Veronica muttered under her breath, about how annoying JD was, before sighing and packing the game of monopoly sitting on the table. They had started playing it when the power went out during the massive storm currently tearing up New York and it had quickly resulted in this huge argument between the two of them. Veronica knew they weren't just fighting over the game, they had been stuck in the one-room apartment for over three days with each other. The news station had cautioned everyone to stay indoors the day the storm started, which was the Thursday after Sophie was found, and Annie had called them to tell them that the cafe wouldn't be opened until after the storm had passed. Going to the food store on Thursday morning was the last time Veronica went out, and the last time she had been without JD for more than five minutes. It was late Sunday evening and all Veronica wanted was to leave the apartment, that thought left her mind as another flash of lightning cracked across the black sky.

JD was sitting on the sofa a book in his hands and another lantern beside him. They had only had two, which had come with the apartment, but a kind neighbour gave them another two on Friday when he saw how dark it was. They weren't amazing but it was better than nothing and the two of them had gotten used to bringing one with them when they wanted to do something else in the apartment.

Veronica sighed, finishing packing the game, and picked up the lantern on the table before walking to the sofa and sitting beside JD. Reading together was a very common activity in the house, it was cheap and easy as well as being something they both thoroughly enjoyed doing. They had started doing it even more over the last few days as they couldn't leave, they had been to the library on Tuesday and had gotten enough books to last them both the week inside. 

Her book was sitting on the small table in front of the sofa where she had left it. She was re-reading Moby Dick, Heather Duke’s favourite book. Whenever she read it she could feel the green Heather in her head, she never talked, just listened to Veronica as she read the book out loud in her head. It comforted Veronica slightly, to have Duke with her, she had always been her friend, especially before Chandler died, but Veronica did miss her and would still listen to ‘Hot Probs’ on the radio occasionally, Duke would listen to that as well.

JD didn't say anything as she sat beside him, neither wanted to admit the other was right in their argument, but he still moved slightly so she could curl up beside him and throw a blanket over them. They had found out how cold it was in their apartment without the heater working. It was actually very romantic, them cuddled up on the sofa under the blanket with dim lighting and only the sound of rain to be heard.

After an hour of reading silently, JD looked down at Veronica who was pressed into his side, her head resting on his shoulder as she read the book. He loved her, he knew that, and really all he wanted was for her to love him too. He knew that she loved him but not like he loved her. To him, Veronica was a masterpiece he could look at forever. She was his Achilles Heel, his eventual downfall. 

He watched as she rested the book on her lap and stared at the wall, her eyes unfocused. He waited for a few moments as she didn't move, he could hardly feel her breath. He knew what she was doing, someone was talking to her. It wasn’t an unpleasant conversation, she wasn’t frowning or moving like she would if someone was annoying her. JD also knew that it was only a handful of people, any more than five or six and she’d start to freak out and cry, throwing her body around like she was having a seizure. After a few minutes, she sighed lowly and her eyes refocused on her book, she moved closer to JD, something he thought she did subconsciously whenever the voices would finish talking to her. He guessed, after a few conversations where Veronica told him what it was like, it was because she needed to feel something that was real.

As he continued to look at her he noticed that she looked pale, her eyes wider but dull and she sat folded in on herself more as if she was protecting herself. “Are you okay?” He asked, breaking the silence.

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

“Then stop looking.”

JD rolled his eyes and pulled her even closer but let it go and went back to reading his book, Veronica did the same. It was another hour at least before they moved again, Veronica got up and went to the kitchen to start making their dinner. They were lucky their kitchen was gas so they could still cook. Veronica was tired and didn't feel like cooking a fancy meal for them so she made a simple creamy pasta with chicken, it only took half an hour to make and they were sitting at the table together.

They sat in silence for the first few minutes, listening to the rain as it continued to assault their windows and roof. “What would be your perfect weekend?” JD suddenly asked.

“What?” Veronica asked, confused why he asked such a random question.

“If you could do anything for a weekend, what would it be?”

“I suppose,” she paused, “I’d want to go somewhere private. Like a cabin or a private beach and just relax. Why?”

JD shrugged, “everything in our lives is shit right now, let’s imagine something better. I’d do the exact same.”

“I guess we need to go to a private cabin sometime,” Veronica smiled slightly at him, these moments were the moments where she fell even deeper in love and she knew it. She found it slightly unfair, she’d fall more and more in love when he was being sweet but she never hated him, or even disliked him, when he did something stupid or evil. Sure, they’d fight and she’d be annoyed at him but she had never actually hated him. She scoffed at herself, this guy had killed hundreds of people in a domestic terrorist attack yet she still loved him.

“You’re so cute.”

“You’re so creepy,” Veronica laughed softly.

Behind Veronica stood the Heathers, all three watched as JD smiled at her and picked up her hand, bringing it softly to his lips and kissed it gently. “Our love is god.” 

They were desperate to see her reaction, all they wanted was to hear her argue with him, scoff or something that she didn't believe him, didn't believe the lies he had told her. Heather McNamara lent forward slightly, waiting to hear her response.

She smiled softly at him, “our love is god.”

The Heathers looked at each and sighed. They were trying to get her out of the situation she had put herself in but every day it became harder as Veronica fell more and more in love with JD. They found it stupid that Veronica wasn’t trying harder. After all, she had decided to make it the Heathers’ mission to save her from JD and her life. Their voices were simply the voices she desperately wanted to hear after all. The three of them disappeared before the conscious part of Veronica realized that they were there.

“I can’t wait for this storm to be over,” JD sighed, dropping her hand gently. “I want to get out of this apartment.”

“I know what you mean,” Veronica muttered.

“What do you want to do? When the storms over?”

“Go and get a slushie?” She laughed, he joined in and together they finished eating their dinner with a comment or two from them.

~~

Finally, after another four days of waiting the storm was gone. When Veronica had awoken on Thursday morning to feel the sun on her face and to hear the absence of rain she nearly screamed with happiness. By mid-morning their apartment building had electricity again, meaning they could watch the news. They were watching reruns of the news the night before when their parents came on screen, not just Veronica’s but JD’s dad as well.

They were silent as they listened to what was happening. “We can not believe what the FBI are saying,” her mother started. JD and Veronica shared a look, what were the FBI saying? “My Veronica was a sweet girl who wouldn't hurt a fly.”

“Jason was a good kid who cared about those he loved, I can’t accept these theories as the truth,” JD’s father said, tears gathering in his eyes. Veronica’s mother patted him on the back gently as they all stood in front of Veronica’s old house.

“What the fuck?” JD exclaimed, turning the volume up.

The screen cut to a reporter at a desk who started to speak in a monotone voice. “FBI officials have ruled the bombing as suspicious after the bodies of Veronica Sawyer and Jason Dean were not recovered. The only items of them were their coats found in the cafeteria. The entire building of the school has been removed now and these are the only students whose bodies were not found. Some point to them being the closest to the bomb as reasoning for their bodies not being found while others are suggesting that they were not in the building and that the bombing was not a suicide like we were lead to believe. The FBI or local authorities have not made a comment on the idea that Veronica Sawyer and Jason Dean being suspects in the bombing. The CDC announced today that the rate of teenage suicide has risen by ten percent since the bombing at Westerburg. Some are calling it an awful social trend among our young. While more and more teenagers are committing suicide, there are more and more people and groups trying to prevent it. If you think your child may be at risk for suicide, or if you are contemplating suicide, please call this number for free and confidential resources 08-“

JD turned the TV off, both felt differently about the news they had just heard. Veronica felt sick, even more, suicides that she was responsible for, indirectly sure but still responsible nonetheless. JD felt great, people were finally talking about the horrors that go in schools, it had become worldwide, something so important that adults like to pretend never happened was now thrust into the limelight thanks to him.

“Well shit,” JD muttered, laughing, after a long pause. “This is great.”

“Great?” Veronica looked up in shock. “What about this is great?”

“Chaos,” he winked at her. “People are finally talking about this shit. As much as I don’t care about other people I know what it’s like to be fucked over by kids at school. So do you.”

“I also know what it’s like to fuck over people. JD, I’m as bad as the others, I don’t think you realize that. I was just like the Heathers.” Veronica explained slowly.

“Not in your heart. You have a soul, Veronica,” JD dismissed. “The world is talking about this, it’s what needed to happen. You and I just started it earlier.”

“They’re talking about suicides that didn't happen!”

“But they could have happened. They do happen all the time.”

“You’re fucking impossible,” Veronica shook her head. “Did you know that?”

He shrugged, “I blame society.”

“I blame you.”

He chuckled darkly. “The boy who became a monster.”


	8. ~8~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Scouts_Mockingbird who reads and comments on this book so often and is also a super awesome writer! Thank you for sticking with me the entire time!!

Their bags were sat on top of the freshly made bed as JD rushed around the small kitchen packing all the food they could bring. Veronica sat on the small sofa her arm crossed and a frown on her face. “I don’t see why we have to go,” she said for the fifth in the last ten minutes.

“I already told you. We’ve been here for too long,” JD replied once more.

“We’ve only been here for three months. Besides, won't it look a bit odd if we leave right after Sophie killed herself?”

JD rolled his eyes at her. “No, we lost our jobs, it’s the perfect time to leave and not arouse suspicion.”

Veronica sighed loudly and lent further back on the sofa, resting her head on the armrest and throwing her arms over her face.

“Throwing a tantrum isn’t going to do anything.”

She moved her arm slightly to glare at him, “fuck off.”

“Look, Annie is selling up. We don’t have anything to keep us here anymore. Anyway, three months is a long time to live somewhere on the run, we’re cutting it close here.”

Veronica sighed again but didn't say anything, she knew he was right. Annie had called them two weeks after Sophie and had explained that she was selling the cafe and they would both need new jobs. She had apologized but Veronica couldn't change her mind no matter how hard she tried. Annie had explained that she was getting too old to run the cafe alone now that Sophie, her longest reigning employee, had gone. Veronica had felt even more terrible as she listened to Annie, she had no idea how close Sophie and Annie had been. JD had been overjoyed, it was a perfect opportunity for them to leave New York with no one questioning why. He had called Eagle Cafe the same day and quit.

“I like this house,” she muttered, trying to think of a better argument.

JD finished packing the food and placed that bag with the others. “We can find another apartment, Veronica. Anyway, you don’t even like this place, you constantly complain about it,” he went and sat down beside her, moving her legs so they rested over his lap. “Stop trying to make excuses and help me choose where to go next.”

“I don’t know.”

“What about Texas?”

“I don’t know.”

“California, maybe LA?”

“I don’t know.”

“Veronica,” he growled out.

“What?”

He glared at her, scaring her ever so slightly. “Don’t test me.”

“I’m not,” she tried to defend herself but her voice shook slightly, giving away her fear. She didn't want to be afraid of him, she wanted to be able to fight him but occasionally he got this look in his eyes that would scare her to her core, reminding her that he was a serial killer who had taken her away from her family.

Heather appeared at the side of the sofa, standing over JD.  _ You do have a shitty taste in men. _

_ I can’t deny that.  _ Veronica muttered.

_ You could have had anyone at Westerburg when you were friends with us, instead, you chose psycho-trench-coat-kid. _

_ I didn’t want anyone else. Wasn’t my fault I fell for him. _

_ It was your fault that you stayed with him. You should have left his ass alone the moment he shot Kurt and Ram in the cafeteria. _

_ Thanks for the advice, but it’s a little late. _

Heather rolled her eyes.  _ I seem to recall telling you this before you got with him, in your yard. _

Veronica pursed her lips and didn't answer.

_ Your ‘love’ caused all this.  _ Heather used air quotes when she said love and rolled her eyes again, a signature Heather move. _ Didn’t it? _

_ I suppose.  _ Veronica agreed.

_ Just try, try to stop him. Stop getting caught up in his illusion. Okay? _

_ I’ll try. _

Heather smiled at her before vanishing. “Talking to Heather?” JD asked.

“Yeah.”

“You could see her,” he commented. “The whole time.”

Veronica tilted her head slightly. “How do you know?”

“Your eyes, they become focused on nothing.”

“Do you just stare at my eyes while I’m out?” Veronica accused.

He shrugged, “pretty much. Now, where do you want to go?”

She groaned and closed her eyes. “I don’t care.”

“Great, we’re going to Ottawa, Kansas.”

“Why?"

He shrugged softly. “I lived near it a few years ago. First place that came to mind.”

“What about if we move to Sherwood, Ohio and you can move into this lovely place called the Ohio Hospital for the Criminally Insane.”

“Only if you come with me,” she didn't reply to him and they sat in silence for a few moments before JD stood and dragged Veronica with him. “Let’s go, we’re wasting daylight. We’ll stop somewhere in Kentucky tonight and continue on tomorrow as well. We’re going around Ohio so it’ll take longer.”

“Why don’t we go to Ohio and explain everything?”

“Shut up Veronica,” he grunted, getting annoyed at her. He went to the bed and collected their bags before following Veronica to their car in the basement. One of their neighbors waved goodbye as they packed the car. JD didn't respond but Veronica waved back quickly before getting in the car. It was going to be a long ride to Kansas, one Veronica was not looking forward to.

~~

“I got the job,” JD announced as he walked into the house was Veronica sat.

“Fucking finally,” she needed him to leave her alone sometimes, she had found she missed her mornings alone after a week of JD’s constant presence. They had been in Ottawa for nearly a month, four months after the bombing, and they had been looking for jobs the entire time but hadn’t had any luck until now. It was at another cafe in the center of town, only a few minutes walk from the rental house they had gotten.

JD rolled his eyes and flopped down beside her on the slightly stained sofa, “I start next week. It’s only two days a week but it’s a start,” he leaned forward and took the remote from Veronica before changing the TV channel to the news station.

“-A sunny week ahead for the east coast, a sign that summer is on the way,” the weatherman spoke in a monotone voice as he gestured vaguely to the screen behind him. The screen cut to the standard news desk and anchors who had serious faces on, the right-hand corner of the screen suddenly had JD’s and Veronica’s face pop up. It was a picture her mother had taken of them one random night, they were sitting in her living room watching a movie and her mother had decided they looked too cute to pass on the photo shoot.

“Shocking news has rattled Sherwood, Ohio and the country today as a small cafe owner from New York called the FBI after this picture was shared of Jason Dean and Veronica Sawyer. Annie Parson called the FBI Westerburg hotline this morning and explained that she had hired both teens in New York for close to three months. They had given fake names, Heather and Jamie Dean, and had seemed, I quote ‘friendly and kind souls who only wanted to help.’ The teens left New York just under a month ago when Annie Parson sold her cafe after a worker and close friend committed suicide. This suicide is being re-examined with the news that Jason and Veronica were close to the person. We will continue to update you as the story progresses.”

“Well, fuck,” JD groaned. “Should have killed the bitch when we were there.”

Veronica sat silently as she contemplated the news. Maybe there was hope for her rescue. During the month in Ottawa she had realized how messed up JD, and their relationship, truly was. She also figured that she needed to get out of it, for both of them. He was becoming even more obsessed with her, constantly needing to know where she was and what she was doing. It wasn't healthy for either of them, her mental state was decreasing every day. She had tried to call the police on one really bad day when JD nearly hit her after she went outside. He had freaked out, grabbing her arms which resulted in bruises, and yelling at her before he pinned her against the wall. He had punched the wall beside her head, hard enough to split his knuckles and leave a dent in the plaster.

Veronica knew she needed to get out of it, and soon. He had apologized like he always did when he got too angry or to controlling but this time was different. Veronica didn't feel like she had to accept it. She still loved him, she loved him with everything she had, but it had shifted. She wanted to, no, she needed to, get him help so he didn't lose himself to the darkness he had inside.

But, he had disconnected the phones and she wasn't allowed out without him beside her, what was she supposed to do? 

“This is fucking wonderful isn't it?” JD asked sarcastically. “Now they’re going to be looking for us and probably already know it wasn't a mass suicide.”

_ You’d think the police and the FBI would be a bit better at their jobs. Wouldn't you?  _ Heather Chandler asked.  _ I mean they only just figured it out and it’s been four months. I doubt they even know about me and Kurt and Ram. _

_ It’s surprising how long it took.  _ Heather Duke agreed _. And they only figured it out because of that lady, they didn't even do anything. _

_ Maybe they’ll figure everything out, avenge me and all that.  _ Heather Chandler said. _ I’d hope so, I don’t deserve to just be forgotten. _

_ At least you had attention on you and only you for a few days. We were just the students at Westerburg.  _ Duke complained.

_ It’s not a competition.  _ Heather McNamara interjected softly, still timid. _ What would happen to Veronica when they find them? _

_ She could plead guilty but insane or mentally ill, which would mean she would go to a psych ward. Probably forever but for at least twenty years I’d guess. Technically she didn't kill anyone but she’s an accomplice, however, it’s against her will. Well, in some cases it is but she could plead Stockholm Syndrome which resulted in a messed up view of the world. She could say JD made her think things she didn't actually believe, like the whole cleansing of the earth bullshit.  _ Duke explained. The other girls looked at her, surprised by her knowledge.  _ What? I read. _

Heather Chandler laughed softly at her friend.  _ God, you were always the smart one. Looks like you better start reading up on court cases and law, Veronica. You’re going to need it. _

“Veronica?” JD called, waving a hand in front of her face. “You okay?”

“Just thinking.”

“You were talking to Heather.”

She nodded. “All of them. Duke was giving me advice.”

“On what?”

“How to plead insanity.”

JD laughed softly. “You don’t need to plead anything. Just tell them that you talk to your dead friends and they’ll take you to your own private cell, cushioned walls and all.”

“You can’t plead insanity. You’re just going to prison.”

He shrugged. “I’m not going anywhere,” he paused before smiling at her. “Touch wood.”


	9. ~9~

“Thank you for coming in today. For your information, this session is being recorded for our records and to be used as evidence in court,” the FBI agent, Agent Trace, said to Annie as he sat down at the old desk in the interrogation room. He was an older man, late sixties, and had been on the force since he had returned from the army during his mid-twenties. He had been tasked this case because he had solved almost every case he had been given and with the media pressure and worldwide panic they needed to solve this case and bring justice back to Sherwood as soon as they could. “This is very helpful. Before we start, I just need to make sure that you’re correct in assuming the people that worked for you, Jamie and Heather Dean, are in fact, Jason Dean and Veronica Sawyer. I know the police went over this, but I need to for our records.”

“Okay,” Annie responded. “Ask away.”

“Can you confirm, that this is the man who you employed?” He slid a picture of Jason from the school yearbook across the table to Annie.

She nodded, “that’s him. Jamie Dean.”

“And is this the lady who was with him?” He slid a photo of Veronica to her, it was from before her transformation to a Heather.

“It’s her but she looks slightly different here.”

“Could you explain how she changed?” Agent Trace asked.

Annie looked at the photo harder. “She was more put together when I meet her. Her hair was better and she was wearing makeup that looked almost professional.”

“But that is her?”

“Yes, Heather Dean.”

“Did they have any nicknames for each other?”

She nodded, “Heather called him JD.”

He looked at his notes, they had asked all these questions to Jason and Veronica’s parents, so they could compare answers. According to his notes, Veronica had called Jason, JD, along with everyone else who knew him. “This may seem like an odd question, but did you ever notice anything about their clothing that stood out to you?”

“Of course, Heather almost always wore something blue, something small like her brooch or the entire dress. She also wore the same jewelry, these bracelets, she had a whole lot of them, they were silver bands with gemstones in different colours. Jamie-”

Agent Trace interrupted her before she could move on. “Sorry, what colours were the bracelets?”

“Red, green, yellow, I don't know the others, sorry.”

He wrote down the colours before nodding at her to continue.

“Jamie, he always wore black. He also had this black, long trench coat that he never took off. I think I saw him without it once when they left the cafe one colder night and he gave the coat to Heather.”

He continued to write, it all matched with student accounts of the school before Jason Dean had arrived. Students had explained how each student of the popular girls had a colour. He continued the questions. “What do you know about them? What did they tell you?”

“Uh, Heather and Jamie had gotten married a few months prior and had just moved to New York from Chicago. They were both looking for jobs and had experience with cafes. That’s all I knew.”

“I believe that these people are Veronica and Jason, so if you don’t mind we can start with the actual questions. Before we do, are there any questions you’d like to ask me?”

“Do you think,” Annie started, “do you think they killed Sophie?”

He sighed, not looking the older lady in the eye, instead of looking at the folder in front of him and running his hand through his greying hair. He had been on many cases but never had he had one that shocked him so deeply as this one. The case of Jason Dean and Veronica Sawyer had confused him for months, he had spoken to countless psychiatrists and adolescent neurosurgeons trying to find a link between the two teens and the bombings at the school. “I don’t think it’s a coincidence that she killed herself when they were in town. Do you mind if we talk about her, Sophie I mean?”

“Yes, that’s fine, if it’ll help,” she nodded softly, looking away from him and staring at a stain on the wall. “What do you want to know?”

“Would they have any motive to kill her? Small or large, anything is important.”

She thought for a few moments, thinking back to the time they were in the cafe. “Sophie, she flirted with Jam-Jason I mean, we all thought they were married but she didn't care. Hea-Veronica didn't seem to care that she was flirting but, Sophie could be rude to her.”

“Rude how?”

“Ignoring her or talking over her to speak to Jason. She would shove past her sometimes as well, to stand next to him,” Annie explained. “It was common.”

He wrote in his folder, he had a few theories floating in his head but wanted to speak to some experts before concluding anything. That’s why he had always been so good at his job, he knew how to wait and find all the facts before drawing conclusions. “How did Jason respond to the flirting?”

“He never acknowledged her. Would ignore her most of the time and just continue talking to Heath-Veronica.”

“Was that normal? Jason only talking to Veronica and ignoring others?”

Annie nodded, “always. It’d be her that responded if someone talked to the both of them. I always assumed he was shy, but now I don’t know.”

“Did he ever seem possessive or controlling towards Veronica?”

“Yes. She didn't seem to care much but he would always take tables with people around their age and if someone started to talk to Veronica too much he would step in and take control of the conversation or take Veronica away.”

“And she didn't seem to care?”

“No, not really. She would usually just roll her eyes and mutter under her breath or walk away from him,” she paused, thinking again, “sometimes she would get angry but she would always calm herself down before she did anything.”

“Did he ever get angry?”

“I suppose, he would if Veronica didn't do what he wanted or if she talks to someone for too long. I just thought he was possessive but I think it was more that he didn't want her messing up and saying what happened,” she paused. Agent Trace nodded at her to continue. "I don't want to make assumptions, but a few times she would come to work with bruises around her wrist," she held one hand around the other wrist to show where the bruise had been. "And a few other times I'd see him grab her wrist, just like where the brusises where. I didn't think anything of it until I saw them on TV." 

Agent Trace nodded to himself and wrote more down in his folder. “I heard that Sophie had been suicidal before, and was depressed at the time of death. Do you think she could have done it to herself?”

“I’m not going to lie, Agent, she could have. She had tried once before, but she was getting better. Her depression was going away slowly but surely and I was so shocked when I heard.”

“Going back to Jason Dean, did he ever get angry at customers?”

“If they talked to Veronica, then yes. Especially if they were around their age.”

He nodded again, something he did rather often in his work and continued to write in his file. “Now, I hate to simplify all this but did Jason, and I guess Veronica, ever seem,” he paused momentarily, thinking of an appropriate word to use. “Crazy?”

“No, when I saw their faces on the news I was shocked and had to think about it seriously. They never seemed like the type to do this. Veronica was so kind to me, even after Sophie. Jason was never as nice but he was never rude, mean or even disrespectful to me,” Annie paused and sighed, looking around as if she was nervous. “Sometimes, though, sometimes it seemed as if Veronica was looking at something that wasn't there, and I heard her talking out loud to herself, she would talk to Heather. It always seemed confrontational as well. Jason, he seemed to know what was happening and would just watch her talking and he’d snap her out of it if someone came.”

Agent Trace stood quickly, this was new and important information he needed to be looked at. “Thank you for coming Mrs. Parson, I think I have anything I need. If you think of anything else or have any questions, please call me,” handing her a crisp white card with his name, email, and number as well as the official FBI logo in the left-hand corner, he turned to leave the room. Jason Dean and Veronica Sawyer, like usual, on his mind.

~~

The two psychiatrists looked over the file Agent Trace had given them, making mental notes as they found something interesting or unusual. After they read the file they listened to the recording of Annie and Agent Trace.

“What do you think?”

“I think you have a very dangerous individual in your hands,” One of the doctors, Doctor Hansen, said.

The other doctor, Doctor Hamilton, nodded. “An individual who believes he is doing the right thing and won’t stop.”

“What about Veronica Sawyer, do you think she’s - what? - seeing Heather?”

They looked back at the notes for a moment, contemplating. Doctor Hansen was the first to talk, “I think she could have developed the Heathers as hallucinations after the trauma she went through. If Jason isn’t letting her talk to anyone else it makes even more sense. She would need someone to vent to.”

Doctor Hamilton nodded, “I’ve seen it before in a small girl who was abducted and made a friend in her mind to cope with the isolation. The friend wasn’t mean or harmful, it was just a friend who helped her through a tough time. Veronica could have done that, she may not even know that she made them up, she could think it’s spiritual or even something normal.”

“Would they be telling her to help Jason?”

“I can’t say,” Doctor Hamilton answered. “They could be kind, evil or the exact same as they were before death. It’s up to Veronica and her subconscious.”

“There was the largest official survey of auditory hallucinations that involved interviewing 199 voice hearers. It did draw the conclusion between past trauma and hallucinations, stating that it was not uncommon for voice hearers to have voices be repeats or almost repeats of previous conversations. I believe it was 12% that reported that they heard voices which were replays of memories of previous conversations that they had heard, while, I think it was around 30% reported that the relationship was similar but not identical. The conversations being assessed were not necessarily stressful or traumatic experiences, however. So it’s very likely that they are the same as before death,” Doctor Hansen explained.

“Could she have something like PTSD?” Agent Trace asked.

“Highly likely, however, the hallucinations aren’t because of that. PTSD symptoms are flashbacks, which while Veronica could have flashbacks, this seems like actual hallucinations and not a flashback in public. People can’t usually be ‘snapped out of it’ as Annie said and they don’t generally get to respond how they want. It’s a memory, not a conversation,” Doctor Hansen replied.

Agent Trace nodded. “Could she please insanity and get the plead?”

“Visual hallucinations can seem very real to people and can be very frightening or distressing, affecting their behaviour, especially if they believe the person or thing they 'see' is trying to harm them. With Sophie, if she was involved she could please insanity and I would be shocked if she didn't get it. If it was her that wanted her dead, it could easily have been her mental state that made her like that,” Doctor Hamilton explained. “The bombing, I don’t know, if she wasn’t seeing or hearing anything then I doubt it.”

“I heard that some were thinking the three suicides before weren’t suicides,” Hansen interjected. “What do you know about that?”

“The compared the note to Heather Chandler’s handwriting again but with more precision and found it wasn’t an exact match. Close but not hers, same with Ram Sweeney’s note. They’ve been ruled as murder. Jason and Veronica have been ruled the prime suspects.”

The doctors looked at each and processed the information. “If it was Jason that did it, then Veronica’s mental state could have started deteriorating sooner than I thought,” Hamilton said.

“She could also have felt scared and pressured to not say anything. He could have threatened her, which would make sense as to why she created the voices, the guilt she feels could have been a factor.” Hansen agreed.

“Is that common? Not telling the police or seeking help?”

“Yes,” Hamilton answered Trace’s question. “It’s why abuse and assault victims don’t come forward often. They’re scared of the people who are hurting them. If that bruise was from Jason, then it would make even more sense as to why she didn't come forward. She was trying to protect herself. Also, how quick after Heather Chandler was the bombing?”

“Three weeks.” Trace answered.

“She may have been hoping for a good time to get help if she had tried to soon he may have hurt her or taken her away. He could have even convinced her that it was an accident, or if he had enough power over her, it was a good thing. Then it escalated until the bombing and she couldn't help,” Hamilton continued.

Trace nodded, he wanted Veronica to get off. After all of his research and interviews, he had seen her, not as a suspect but as a victim of Jason.

“It also seems like he loves her. Or at least, he thinks he does,” Hansen said. “You’ve got the careful here Agent. Jason is a psychotic murderer who truly believes what he is doing is good because of his love for Veronica.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're coming to an end, my friends... 
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed this and I'll update a new chapter soon!


	10. ~10~

_ It’s not a hard question to answer? Honestly, it’s a yes or no answer. _

_ It’s not that easy, Heather. _

_ Yes, it is. _ Heather Chandler scoffed and rested her hand on her hip.

Veronica sighed as the other two Heathers appeared in the living room of the small house in Kansas.  _ It’s not. _

_ How do you feel about it all? _ MacNamara interjected, a kind smile on her face.

Duke scoffed, mirroring Heather Chandler as she placed her hand on her popped out hip.  _ Oh, come on Veronica! Just answer the question. _

_ We’ve been talking about this fucking topic for ages, I want to know the answer. _ Chandler scoffed, getting visibly annoyed.  _ Do you love Jason Dean? _

_ I-I don’t know. _ Veronica brokenly whispered.

Heather McNamara sighed,  _ leave her alone guys _ . Soon after all three Heathers left Veronica alone.

Did she love him? The answer no longer came to her as easily as it once had, during their time in New York she would have been able to answer simply and quickly. Yes. Now, however, she didn't feel like she could answer the question. Especially not with a yes or a no. Their relationship was much more complicated, nothing she or the Heathers had ever dealt with before so she had no one to turn to for help. She still hadn't answered the question in her mind. She couldn't say that she didn't love him, but could she say that she did love him?

Sometimes he could be so sweet and caring, in those moments she felt something, something deep down, but she couldn't put a name on it and other times he was so angry and controlling and those deep emotions would leave her instantly. Is that how love works? She asked herself as she lent backward onto the sofa, massaging her temples. Why was love so hard?

Veronica thought about her life without JD, sure it would be stable, she wouldn't be on the run from the FBI and she would still have her friends and her parents but at the same time, her life had sucked before him. She also thought about how she would feel if they were separated, that was a much easier question to answer. She’d be devastated, crushed beyond repair. She had become so dependent on him over the, nearly, six months that they had been together that the thought of leaving him made her feel physically sick.

_ Yes _ . She whispered into her head.  _ Yes, I love him. _

~~

“Did they check any of the books out?” Agent Trace asked the librarian from New York who sat at the desk where Annie Parson had sat only weeks ago. Trace had just spent the last half an hour grilling all of the librarians who had been at work on the day Jason and Veronica had gone in. This was the last interview he had to do, and was also the most important, as she had actually deal with them and help them find the books they had been reading.

“No, they just read them in the library.”

Agent Trace stood quickly, this was new and important information he needed to be looked at. “Thank you for coming, I have anything I need. If you think of anything else or have any questions, please call me,” Handing her a crisp white card with his name, email, and number as well as the official FBI logo in the left-hand corner, he turned to leave the room. Jason Dean and Veronica Sawyer, as usual, on his mind.

Doctor Hansen and Hamilton were in the room next to Agent Trace so he went in there before going back to his office, they had been listening to the conversation he had just had. “What do you think?” He asked as he sat in the chair that was unoccupied.

“The books they got out were impressive. Heavy material,” Doctor Hansen started. “I’m not surprised though, if she was seeing hallucinations, these are the books to get.”

Hamilton nodded. “If they could understand some of these books they’re smarter than you thought. Some of these case studies were confusing to me for years after reading them.”

“So you’re telling me that ‘the psychotic murder who truly believes what he is doing is good because of his love for Veronica’” Agent Trace quoted Hansen’s words, “is smarter than we originally thought, and we already knew he was smart?”

“That’s what I’m telling you,” Hamilton said solemnly. 

“Agent Trace!” A young agent burst into the dim room. He was slightly out of breath as he spoke. “They’ve been spotted, we know where they are.”

~~

Veronica was sat on the sofa watching, what she thought was, trashy daytime TV. She had been alone in Kansas for two weeks as JD went to work on Tuesday and Wednesday. It had been her saving grace after a month of being with him for a month straight. But, she was starting to get angsty and bored of being in the house 24/7.

“We have to leave again,” JD said as he rushed into the house, Veronica stood quickly and turned to look at her panic-stricken boyfriend.

“What?”

“Some asshole saw me, pointed at me and then fucking called the police. I even heard him say he saw the guy from Westerburg. They know we’re here,” he paused, “fuck!”

Veronica tilted her head,  “well shit.”

“Yeah! Shit!” JD ran his hand through his hair. “We need to go.”

“Go where? We just got here!” Veronica started to yell.

JD matched her tone. “That doesn’t matter!”

“What are we going to do JD? Keep moving every time we’re seen? We’re the most wanted people in America right now!”

“I don’t know Veronica! I’m trying to figure it out,” JD started to pace around the living as Veronica stayed standing on the other side of the sofa. 

As JD was about to say something else there was a knock at the door. Both teens turned quickly to look at the solid wooden door. There was no glass or peephole for them to see who it was. They didn't move for a moment and there was another series of rapid, loud knocks on the door.

Veronica looked at JD, terror, and panic written across her face. He reached into his waistband on his jeans and brought out his black handgun, he sent her a small smile, trying to convey that it would be alright when both of them knew that it wasn’t. They had no idea who was behind that door.

JD slowly walked towards the door, his gun in both hands resting against his thigh. He got to the door and paused, his hand on the handle. Before he could open it another loud knock rang throughout the house causing Veronica to flinch. JD took a deep breath and flung open the door.


	11. ~11~

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?” The arresting police officer recited after his men had swarmed the house, pinning the struggling JD on the ground his handcuffs uncomfortably tight and restraining the shocked Veronica, her arms behind her back.

_ Holy Shit.  _ Heather muttered.  _ Finally got caught, guess you and red dawn are going away for a long time now. Wonder if they still do electric shock therapy? _

“Leave her alone!” JD yelled the sounds muffled slightly as his face was pressed into the floor. “She didn't do anything wrong.”

_ Aww, he still cares about you. _

No one moved as he continued to yell at them, mostly about Veronica and trying to get them to let her go. “I’ve been searching for you for a long time,” Agent Trace said as he walked into their living room. “Couldn’t stay hidden forever.”

_ Who’s this? _

“Fuck you!”

“Jason, Jason,” Trace clicked his tongue. “In case you’re wondering, I’m Agent Trace with the FBI and I’ve been the lead on this case since the bomb went off all those months ago-“

_ Holy shit, he must fucking hate you two!  _ Heather laughed loudly. _ This is too good! _

“-and now I’ve finally gotten you. You’ve been good at hiding, must have played a lot of hide and seek with mummy,” He paused. “Oh, sorry. I guess not.”

Heather started laughing again and walked to him,  _ I love this guy! _

“You are going away for a long time, Jason Dean.”

_ You should ask if they still do waterboarding. Wonder what they’re going to do with you two. _

“I’ll make sure of it.”

_ You are the most hated people in America. Maybe, they could just let Sherwood at you. _

“Get them out of here, Veronica first.”

_ Time to say goodbye to lover boy, probably won't see him again. _ She paused.  _ Do they allow other prisoners to watch the lethal injections? _

“Don’t touch her,” JD grunted again. “Leave her alone!”

_ They’re all so loud. Veronica tell them to shut up. _

“You can’t tell us what to do!” Trace laughed.

_ Veronica! _

“She’s innocent in this!”

_ Veronica! _

Trace snorted. “Hardly. I’d be surprised if she isn’t given the death penalty.”

_ Veronica! _

“Don’t hurt her!”

_ Veronica! _

“Get her out of here!” Trace yelled at the other police in the room.

Veronica didn't move until she was lightly pushed her from behind. They had all been briefed on the way to the house, and all knew that Veronica was to be treated softly and with kindness as it may be possible her mental state. She looked fine on the outside but she was having a breakdown in her own mind as she listened to everyone yelling around her. 

The chorus of students came into her mind, listening to the police and to JD as they yelled back and forth. The voices were getting blurred into one giant mess as blackness swirled at the edge of her vision and the floor seemed to sway under her. They were only able to walk a few steps before Veronica felt her legs stop working, falling back slightly, the two men behind her caught her and held her in a standing position.

Duke appeared, standing directly in front of Veronica with the other two Heathers.  _ She can’t tell them to shut up, she’s too weak. She was too weak to stop JD and now she’s too weak to stop them. Nothing new. God, how did we ever think she could be a Heather? _

_ It is rather pathetic.  _ MacNamara whispered.

“You’re not in control here JD, you’re too weak,” Trace taunted.

Chandler laughed without humour, her voice ice cold.  _ I guess you and JD were a match made in hell. You’re about to get your comeuppance Veronica, and everything that happens to you is what you deserve. _ The other Heathers laughed as well.

Veronica didn't know if anyone else was talking, all she could hear were the three Heathers and the students laughing at her, yelling at her for being too weak.

Too weak to save them. Too weak to stop JD. Too weak to go to the police. Too weak to stop the voices in her own head. Too weak to control her own emotions. Too weak to save herself. To weak.

_ I’m sorry! _ She shouted into her head. No one listened, they just got louder and continued to yell at her.

The room around her was silent. They watched as she cried silently, tears running down her face and struggling to stand on her own. Her eyes going in and out of focus, seemingly staring at nothing. Her hair was a mess after struggling in the officer's arms when she was handcuffed and her shirt had come off one of her shoulders. She was shaking ever so slightly, just enough for them to see if they looked closely at her.

JD knew what was happening, he was the only one. “Help her!”

“What’s happening to her?” Trace asked, the mocking tone gone from his voice as he focused on helping the girl in front of him. It shocked him, how much he wanted to help Veronica, he had never felt that way about a suspect before. He didn't know why he felt such a strong urge to get her help, he usually wanted to bring the victims justice. Perhaps, he thought suddenly, he saw Veronica as a victim of JD as well.

“She hears voices and sees the Heathers, from school!” JD rushed out in a panic. “She’s overwhelmed by them.”

“How do we help her?”

JD didn't think they would do it but he still gave it a shot. “I need to help her, she just needs to be grounded in reality again. Let me help her.”

“No,” JD groaned in anger at Trace’s answer.

Veronica let out a small whimper causing JD to stop his rebuttal before he began. It went silent for a few moments as they watched Veronica struggle with her inner demons.

_ JD is trying to get you help. Heather Chandler laughed. Why bother? It’s off to the electric chair for the both of you soon. _

_ At least he’s not as weak as you, Veronica.  _ Duke scoffed. The students laughed harder at her words, a sinister grin forming on all three Heathers faces’.

Betty Finn started speaking from behind her, her voice mirroring Heather’s. No emotion, just malicious intention.  _ Nobody is as weak as Veronica. _

“SHUT UP!” Veronica screamed into the quiet room before passing out in the officer's arms’, the stress of everything catching up to her suddenly. Before she fell into unconsciousness she was reminded of the previous time she had passed out, in the car after JD had blown up the school. Sleeping sounded peaceful to her so she, once again, welcomed it with open arms.

~~

Veronica woke up on a comfortable bed, the roof was white and bright with fluorescent lights. The walls were white as well, a few machines were sitting beside her, none of them attached to her, however, and a scratchy cotton blanket lay over her body. A hospital. She went to move her arms when she felt the heavy band across her left wrist when she moved the blanket she saw the shiny metal handcuff that was attached to the bar on the side of the bed.

She was no idiot and knew why that was there.

The room was silent and she was left to think over everything that had happened since she was taken. Would she be able to see her parents? She wanted to see them so badly, sure their relationship hadn't been the best but after being taken away from them for so long she wanted nothing more than to restore their relationship if they still wanted her of course. Veronica started thinking the worst, they weren't there when she woke up which she twisted to mean they didn't care about her.

“Ah, Miss Sawyer,” an older man said as he walked into the room. He was late sixties and was slightly balding, the hair a light grey. He looked at her with warm blue eyes that held no anger or resentment, only a slight hint of worry. “How are you feeling?”

Veronica didn't answer, she didn't know how to.

“Don’t want to talk? That’s fine. I’m Doctor Hansen, I’ve been looking after you since you came in here a day ago along with my partner Doctor Hamilton. We work for the FBI and specialize in child and adolescent psychology, we’ve been helping Agent Trace try and find you and JD. You’ve been asleep for twenty-two hours, do you know what happened?”

This one, Veronica could answer better than before. She nodded slowly, hesitation written across her face. Sure, she remembered parts of what happened and she knew she was arrested but she couldn't remember what was actually said to her apart from people calling her weak.

“That’s good,” the read over the file in hand quickly. “You’ve noticed the handcuff, it’s not because you’re going to jail or anything. It’s a precaution to keep you and others safe. Do you know why we needed to use this precaution?”

Veronica shook her head no. She wasn't a danger to anyone.

His face fell slightly before he schooled it back into a neutral expression. “Your mental state isn’t healthy right now. We were notified that you are hearing voices and seeing people that weren't there, is that true?"

A simple nod was all Veronica answered, it seemed to satisfy the doctor.

“That’s not a good sign, though you must know that, you’re a smart girl. We’re going to help you get better. I’m sure you want to know about what’s going to happen to you?”

In honesty, she wanted to know where JD was but she nodded in response to his question.

“There is a mental health facility in Utah that has agreed to house you until you turn eighteen in three months when we will reassess your progress and see where you need to go. It will most likely be another mental health facility as problems like what you have are not cleared in three months. You’re not going to jail at any time, you don’t need to worry about that. Your crimes weren’t yours and you have been cleared of all of them. Do you have any questions?”

“JD?” Veronica whispered softly, her throat burned as she spoke but she needed to know.

The doctor sighed before answering. “I do not think it’s best to talk about him. I’ll let you see your parents.”

_ Oh, do you think something bad happened to JD? _ Heather Chandler asked.

“Veronica!” Her mother shrieked as both her parents ran into her room. They pulled her into a large group hug and kissed her head repeatedly. “Are you okay?”

“I think,” Veronica answered truthfully.

Her dad lent back and sat on the chair beside her head. “Did he hurt you?”

“No, no, I’m fine,” She muttered, shifting slightly at the lie. They didn’t need to see the bruises forming on her hips from when he had gotten angry a few days ago. “Is he okay?”

“We’re not talking about him,” her mother whispered, stroking Veronica’s hair softly. “We thought we had lost you, then they started blaming you and then we were told you probably had Stockholm syndrome or something.”

Veronica frowned slightly, “I don’t have Stockholm syndrome.”

“Oh, shh baby, it’s okay now. You’re home and where you belong,” her mother cooed. “You’re safe,” she sat on the chair beside Veronica’s father, the worry lines on her forehead lifting slightly.

“We missed you so much,” he father whispered, tears gathering in his eyes.

“I missed you too. I wanted to come and see you but JD -”

“No, it’s okay. We understand,” her mother interrupted. “We understand completely. The whole town does, no one blames you or anything, in fact, most people are excited about your homecoming. All the teens in the area that survived are becoming like beacons of light or something for the parents who lost someone.”

“Beacons of light?”

“Bad analogy.” 

Her dad leaned forward and placed his hand on hers. “Veronica, we need to know, did you write that note?”

“What note?” Veronica was confused, her brain was still slightly scrambled and she couldn't focus enough to think of what her father was talking about.

“The note left at the school.” He explained. “The suicide note.”

She thought for a moment, trying to remember what he was talking about before it dawned on her. Her mouth went into an ‘O’ shape and her eyes wide. “No, no I didn’t,” she said after a moment of shock. “JD faked my handwriting.”

“And, do you see them?” He asked softly as if he was afraid of startling her.

“Who?”

“Heather and Betty and the students who went to your school.”

_ He means me, bitch. _

“Oh, yeah. Sometimes.”

“Can you see them right now?” Her mother asked with alarmed eyes.

_ Yeah, she can. _

Veronica nodded slightly, her eyes trained on her parent's face which turned into masks of shock and a little bit of fear. “Who?” Asked her mother.

“Chandler. She’s there,” Veronica pointed to where she could see Heather, at the end of her hospital bed. Blue lips and red scrunchie. A mean glare on her pretty face as she looked at Veronica’s parents. Her parents both turned to look at nothing, fear present on their faces.

_ Ask about JD. _

“Can I know about JD now?”

“Veronica. We just got you back, we want to spend time with you,” her father protested.

_ Fine, I’ll go and find out for myself _ . Heather scoffed before disappearing.

“That’s going to have to wait I’m afraid,” Doctor Hansen said walking into the room, another man beside him.

“Doctor Hansen, Doctor Hamilton,” Her father greeted as him and her mother stood and shook their hands. “Why will it have to wait?”

“Veronica needs to go to rest, her body and mind have been through a lot. We’ll go and talk while she is left alone,” Doctor Hamilton said. “Say goodbye and meet us in the hallway.”

Her parents nodded and the doctors left the room. Another group hug and more kisses followed, Veronica felt like she should be happy that she was with her parents again but she felt numb inside. She didn't feel a thing as she watched them leave her alone in the white room.

_ Veronica _ . Heather whispered softly, appearing at the end of the bed. Veronica had never seen her look so concerned or speak so kindly.

“What?”

_ I found JD _ . Again, she spoke softly and kindly. Veronica knew that something was wrong, something big had gone wrong.

“Is he okay?”

Heather walked closer to Veronica and gripped her hand tightly. If Veronica pretended hard enough she could feel the embrace when nothing was there in reality.  _ After you left the room, when you passed out, he tried to follow you. He was tackled by the officers and - _

“And?” Veronica prompted after a few seconds of silence.

_ They shot him. He didn’t make it. _

“What?” Veronica breathed out, not quite believing what her friend was telling her. “Please tell me you pulling some fucked up prank right now.”

Heather didn't answer.

“Heather? Tell me this a joke,” Veronica sobbed. “Please.”

_ I’m so sorry, Ronnie. _

“Oh god.”

_ Veronica? _ Heather whispered after a few minutes of Veronica sobbing her heart out. Her one love was dead and it was all her fault. He was trying to get to her. _ I have an idea, it’ll take the pain away. _

“Promise?”

_ Promise _ . Heather whispered squeezing Veronica’s hand and smiling.

“What is it?”

_ Look _ . Heather pointed to a table beside Veronica’s bed, if she stretched she’d be able to reach it.  _ Take a few of those and it’ll numb the pain. _

She did as he was told, reaching as far as she could to grasp at the cool table and pulling it closer to her. The yellow bottle with a white lid sat proudly in the middle, the label was too hard to read for Veronica at that moment so she just listened to Heather and took all of the pills in the bottle, she wasn’t counting but she guessed it was at least twenty.

_ Good girl _ . Heather purred as she pat Veronica’s head.  _ It’ll be okay. The pills will help you. _

Veronica was reminded of the time she had stopped MacNamara’s suicide attempt, it seemed like a lifetime ago. Where all she was worried about was which shade of gloss to wear and how to hit three kegs before curfew. She hoped the pills would take her to a time she didn't have to worry about her boyfriend killing someone out of love for her or feeling so empty when she was alone. The pills would take her far away. Take her to JD. The pills would help her.

It only took a few minutes, or that’s how long Veronica thought it was before she could feel the pills making her sleepy so she closed her eyes. She wanted to see JD and she wanted the voices in her head to shut up. The pills would help her.

“I don’t see why the doctors think you should have any time in here but you’ve got five minutes to say your goodbyes any funny business and you're out of there,” Agent Trace grumbled outside Veronica’s door. “Do you understand?”

Jason nodded quickly. He just needed to see her and make sure she was okay. Trace sighed but opened the door. Both men froze when they saw Veronica lying on the bed, deathly pale, the pill bottle resting on her lap beside her hand.

JD was the first to react, running beside and grabbing her face in his hands. She was too cold. Trace yelled down the hallway for the doctors. Jason continued to hold her face, yelling at her to wake up with tears falling down her face. The room was too cold.

“Veronica!” He screamed. “Veronica!”

Why was everything so cold?

The doctors pushed past him, he landed in Trace’s grip who pulled him out of the room. Doctor Hamilton and Hansen along with her parents had arrived at her room and we're watching her pale body being worked on by the doctors. JD continued to cry as Trace held his arm in a tight grip. The doctors continued to work on her for a few minutes before they stepped back.

JD’s world collapsed around him, he could faintly hear the sound of Veronica’s parents sobbing and screaming but couldn't focus on anything other than the blood pounding in his ears. Everything seemed to slow down as the doctor spoke out loud.

“Time of death. Three - fourteen pm.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over. 
> 
> Hopefully, I shocked you and got you all sad. Not going to lie, I totally cried when I wrote it. I love her so much and she went through so much in this book and I felt like this was a good way to end it, she got to be happy (she's in heaven like the original Heathers script, you can't fight me on this, I'm the author! HAHA) while JD got his punishment. 
> 
> Before I say goodbye I'd just like to say thank you to everyone who has read, left kudos or commented. It means so much to me. This started as a one-shot, someone asked if I was going to keep going, and I decided on a whim to say yes. 30,000 words later (holy heck that's a lot) and I'm coming to a close. It's been amazing writing this, I've loved every minute! 
> 
> Thank you all so much and hopefully, I'll see you with my next book, which is going to much happier and fluffy! 
> 
> Love you!! 
> 
> ~Bayley


End file.
